I sucked on his bottom lip, bringing my body closer to his. Thoughts of kissing Bobby just a few minutes ago made me kiss Hanbin even more vigorously, desperate to clean that image away.
I fought with his tongue for dominance and won, and I continued attacking his mouth hungrily, my hands gripping his hair as he moaned my name.
The initial desire to get rid of any remains of my kiss with Bobby came true as my mind flooded with thoughts of how badly I wanted him. We broke away and gasped for air before we went at it again, only this time he sucked on my neck and buried his face in it, making me gasp in pain as he left hickies along my collarbone.
His hands slowly travelled down my waist to my bottom, and he squeezed it gently, breaking away to breath raspily, "You look so sexy today baby." His breathing heavy, he continued planting kisses on my neck as his hand travelled further downwards.
Finally I felt the heat of his hand on my bare skin, burning through and leaving me wanting for more skin contact. I tilted my jaw and locked lips with him again, letting him assert dominance over me this time.
His hands reached the insides of my thighs and he rubbed them slowly, breathing hard against our kiss. I moaned, pressing my body closer to his, my brain registering just how right this felt in comparison to how it'd been with Bobby just now.
Bobby. Bobby.
I jerked away from the kiss, the hands on my thighs suddenly looking like that of Bobby's. Hanbin stopped caressing my thighs to hold my shoulders in concern, his eyebrows creased in worry.
"What's wrong babe? Why are you crying?" I blinked, and only when the tears slid down my cheeks did I realize that I was crying. Wiping it away forcefully, I shook my head, not daring to tell Hanbin what I'd just been doing with Bobby.
"Nonono, baby tell me. You can tell me what happened, baby. I'll take care of it for you. Don't cry baby, don't cry." He cooed, wiping the tears away with the back of his hands.
My words came out in rivulets, stuttering and stumbling over each other, not knowing which order to come out in. "I-Bobby and I- I feel like I'm cheating - we kissed- I.. I feel so guilty- only want you- I'm so sorry" I blurted out, wailing loudly and sobbing profusely. My tears fell incessantly, burning my eyes.
It felt so good to let everything off my chest, but at the same time I was so afraid of Hanbin's reaction. What if he got angry and stopped talking to me? What if he decides not to love me anymore?
So when Hanbin stayed silent and stood there not moving an inch, I wasn't at all surprised. I started hiccuping, overwhelmed with the tears and relentless sobbing. There it is. He was going to break up with me now. It was all my fault for "cheating" on him.
But he reached out to pull me into his embrace instead, patting my back and trying to soothe down my hiccups. "It's okay. It's okay, baby. Once my sobbing subsided, he pulled away and held my hands in his, forcing a smile.
But his eyes were lined with glistening tears...
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My heart broke at this sight of him, and I wanted so desperately to turn back time and to insist on not partaking on this stupid competition between Bobby and him.
"Did you-" His voice broke a little, and he quickly cleared his throat before asking again, "Did you do it because you developed feelings for him?"
I shook my head immediately, clasping onto his hands even tighter, willing him to believe me. "That's not it, Hanbin. I just... Just lost my mind for awhile..."
"I get it. Bobby's my best friend, I've seen all sides of him before. He's sexy, even to me. His experience with girls makes him super seductive too. I get it, I really do.
But it still hurts. It hurts so badly. The thought of you kissing him... Of him touching you..."
He trailed off, his eyes looking pained. I hated seeing this part of him, knowing that I was the one who made him so unhappy.
Shaking my head slowly, my voice broke as I asked softly, not knowing what to do. "What can I do to make it up to you?"
He lowered his eyes and stared down at the floor, his hands slowly leaving my body.
"Nothing." He muttered, his voice barely a whisper.
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As he turned and walked away back to his room, his shoulders slumped and his head still held low, I stared after him, my legs doing all it could to not collapse.
Empty. That's exactly how my heart felt like right now. Like someone had gorged out whatever was inside and left it hollow, left it sitting there with a gaping, bleeding wound.
