playboy || hanbin fanfic

twenty six ; self-harm

*BELLA'S POV*

The next morning, I quickly put my jeans back on and left the house before Bobby woke up. It was going to be awkward seeing him in the morning, after what'd happened last night.

I don't even know what had gotten over me. I'd woken up to feel him sucking on my neck, and the rush of emotions I'd felt had been so overwhelming. Before I knew it, I'd completely surrended to the burning desire I'd had.

Shaking my head in confusion, I quickly got into a taxi and got home in under ten minutes, given the proximity. Letting myself in the house, I looked around for Hanbin or Hanbyul, but the living room was empty.

Hanbyul was probably in school now, but since it was the senior year's holiday, I didn't have school until a week later. So Hanbin should be at home too, but where was he?

I looked around all the way to my room, and still hadn't spotted any evidence of him in the house. Maybe he'd left to buy breakfast or something.

Shaking it off, I went to give myself a much needed bath, taking time in the bathroom washing down my body and lathering up shampoo in my hair. Once done, I stepped out of the shower and started drying my hair with the blow dryer, wondering what I should do for the day.

Study with Hanbin? I sniggered at the thought of him actually studying - a sight rarely seen. He was always immersed in his music and always went around saying that "Studies isn't everything."

Combing a hand through my hair absent-mindedly, I was humming a song softly to myself when a loud "BOOM!" suddenly sounded, shocking the hell out of me. I jumped and almost slipped on the slippery floor.

Cursing, I wrapped myself tightly in my bathrobe before stepping out, wondering what the hell that was. Was Hanbin home? Or... Shit, what if there was a burglar inside???

Grabbing my hair dryer as a weapon, I tiptoed over to where the sound came from - inside Hanbin's room. There was silence from inside there now, but I couldn't be too sure.

I slowly turned the knob and kicked it open gently. The door swung slowly open, and I held up my weapon in defence in case anyone suddenly popped out at me.

Nothing. Frowning in concentration, my senses on high alert, I slowly entered the room, looking around for any hint of a movement.

When I got past the closet, I saw that someone was lying on the floor, with the shelf collapsed beside him. Upon closer inspection, the man lying down had hair just like Hanbin's, and was even wearing the same patterned white T-shirt of Hanbin's.

A cold hand gripped onto my heart as I realized that the man lying there was Hanbin himself. Gasping, I ran and fell onto the floor beside him, turning him around and cradling him on my lap in panic.

"Hanbin?? Kim Hanbin!! What's wrong?? Are you okay? Say something!!!" I begged, anxiety taking over me as I felt his limp body against mine. He was sweating buckets, and his forehead was extremely hot to the touch. He was having a high fever.

And that wasn't all. As I lifted him up and tried to place him on the bed, I saw that his fists were bloody and torn up. The wall infront held the remains of his blood, where he'd punched his fists for God knows how many times.

Panic rose in me and I choked back hot tears, my hands shaking as I quickly got medicine for fever and a glass of water. Propping him up on my chest, I fed him the pill and helped him gulp it down, patting his back as he coughed some water out.

Once he'd swallowed the medicine, I took out the first aid kit and started cleaning up his wound. He stirred a little, his eyebrows creased in pain as he mumbled something inaudible.

"Hanbin? Kim Hanbin, are you okay? Please tell me you're okay." I tried to swallow the tears in my eyes, but they flowed down my cheeks anyways, burning my eyes and blurring my vision.

Blinking hard and wiping the stinging tears away, I bandaged his fists up carefully, my heart lurching everytime he winced in pain. The skin on his fist was all torn up, revealing his raw, bloody meat and even some white parts.

Luckily he was still groggy from his fever, or the pain would have been even more unbearable for him. What had even caused him to self harm like this???

I laid him down on bed and pasted a fever patch on his forehead, my head spinning with adrenaline pumping through me. He looked so weak and vulnerable, his face as white as paper and his lips pale and dry.

I dripped a few drops of water onto his lips and into his mouth to hydrate him, and slowly, he started gaining consciousness, his eyes rolling as he opened them slightly. "Bella.." He muttered, and I gripped onto his non-injured left hand, wiping away the sweat that was forming on his head.

"Are you awake? Do you want to go to the hospital? Let's go, okay?"

"N-no... I'm okay... No hospital." He opened his eyes and looked at me with wavering eyes, his pupils glazed over and unfocused. Then he seemed to gain a little more consciousness, and his eyes held recognition before he suddenly pushed my hand away, turning to face away from me.

It was then that I knew. He knows.

I don't know how, but he knows about where I'd been last night. And it doesn't take a genius to take a guess at what I'd been doing with Bobby last night, alone in a room.

I blinked my tears away and watched as he tried to get up off the bed. Stumbling, he caught himself and continued shuffling towards the door, every step he took painful for me to watch.

"Kim Hanbin,"

I called, my voice coming out authoritative and steely.

"Stop right there."

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A/N:

Thank you guys for 2K+ reads!!! Will continue updating and trying my best to bring good updates for yall~~

& dont worry, no big fight is coming up with bella and hanbin.

In case you guys are starting to hate Bella or feel like she's such a hoe for two-timing, well, she's still human, and she's definitely imperfect.

That was the purpose of me writing her as such. She has never been in love or in a relationship before, so this sudden rush of hormones is new and confusing for her. She doesn't know what's love and what's lust, and whether they can be separated and distinguished, or if they actually mean the same thing.

Although she knows what she's doing is wrong, she can't really help herself. By hurting once, she's hurting the other. So now she's kind of leaning towards the satisfying both.

But of course, it cant carry on like this forever and eventually she'll learn to male her decision. Read on and watch her mature and find out what her decision is! :)

Love y'all!!! ♥♥♥