Carter.

4.

"Emma go upstairs." I glare at my mother, not wanting Emma to see the pain in my eyes. She doesn't need to see this. I can't help but hate my mother, love her, fear her and the mix of all the emotions at once makes me nauseous.

"Mother. I had to stay after school. I'll be ready by 6" I say through gritted teeth, just facts that's all she cares about. It's been such a long day.

"You better be!" She growls as spins and walks towards her room. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. I close my eyes for a second. I need control over something. I know my stomach is empty so I head to the kitchen and quickly drink an entire water bottle. I head into the downstairs half-bath and shove two fingers down my throat, spring tears to my eyes. Puking water is the worse but I honestly feel better. More in control. I wipe the tears that fell from my eyes and flush the toilet with nothing but extra water in it. My throat burns but honestly, it's calming at this point. 

I head back upstairs and see Emma peeking out of her room. She has tears running down her cheeks. Fuck, this day couldn't get any worse.

I rush upstairs and pull her into my room. She immediately starts sobbing into my shoulder. I just rub her back. She tries to talk but I don't understand a thing she says.

"Shhh, Emma. I'm fine. Everything is fine."

After a good 10 minutes, she finally leans back. I focus on the burning feeling in my throat to keep me calm.

"I don't understand! Why does she treat-t you like that? W-why do you let her? Why did you p-p-puke? I heard you!!" Emma sobs, struggling to take in full breaths. It breaks my heart to see her like this.

"Emma it's okay." I continue to rub circles on her back.

"Why don't we just leave?" Emma asks with her eyes red and blinking through the tears, if only it was that simple.

"Where would we go? How would we get mother to not come after us?" I wish we could.

"W-we could get an a-a-apartment in a town she's never even h-heard of." She is still uncontrollably sobbing.

"With what money?"

"With the money you get from work. A-and I could get a j-job."

"Shhh Emma, I don't keep any of the money I make and you're only 14." I'm trying my best to soothe her but it's not really working. I should keep the money from work but that'll never happen. I wish with all my heart she was older. "Look I have to be ready to leave in 20 minutes, okay?" I pull back slightly, not wanting to piss mother off anymore for tonight.

"Okay-y." Her voice breaks, just as my heart does.

I go to my closet and grab a slutty tiny red dress. Emma is leaning on my back board trying to stop crying. It's not working very well.

I slip on the dress and a pair of black heals. I pull my hair into a high pony. I do a smoky eye and reset my foundation. I put on red lipstick and gold hoop earrings. The better I look the more money mother gets, the happier she'll be.

Emma is just watching me, she managed to stop sobbing but silent tears are just rolling down her cheeks as she clutches her knees to her chest. I wish I could make it better for her.

I spray some perfume on and I'm ready. 1 minute until I have to be downstairs.

"Emma you can stay in here as long as you want, even sleep in here if you want. I have to go but I love you. " I rush my words out as I walk to my bedroom door. I just wish we could stay in and watch awful chick-flicks and eat popcorn and candy. But that hasn't happened since my dad was still alive.