Carter.

45.

I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and sit back in the car. Still spinning but honestly throwing up gives me some power back in my life. It gives me control. Control of myself and what I do.

Grayson's hand was running up and down my back while I threw up. He grabs my hand (the one without puke wiped on it) and I close the car door.

"Okay, let's go to school." I say, a little shaky but can you blame me? I quickly grab one of those on-the-go toothbrushes out of my backpack.

"What?" Grayson scrunches his face up in complete confusion.

"Please."

"You confuse the fuck out of me Carter Mason." But he starts to drive towards school.

Grayson keeps gently asking what happened the entire car ride but I manage to put it off. We make it to school and I don't waste anytime going to my locker. The bell will ring any minute now.

I manage to slide into my desk before the bell goes off. I immediately get lost in the lesson. Anything to think about.

First and second period fly by and it's already time for lunch. Gray and I always eat outside on the bleachers, he keeps trying to get me to sit at his lunch table. Maybe I should today? If we sit at the bleachers the only thing to do will be to talk. But if we sit with his friends then they can distract me.

I'm at my locker waiting for Grayson when I see Emma in the hall. She flys over to me and engulfs me in a hug.

"I missed you!" She shrieks into my ear. I lightly wrap my arms around her. If I think too much I'll cry. I should tell her what mother said but it'll break her heart.

"I missed you too." I half smile at her. I did miss her but fuck this shits hard.

"Come eat lunch with me?" She asks all the time but today I need to take her up on the offer.

"Sure." I smile but it doesn't reach my eyes.

"Really?!"

"Yeah I missed you!"

Just then Grayson walks up. He kisses my forehead and links our hands together immediately.

"Hey Emma!"

"Heyyyy...." She drags it out. I guess things might still be awkward for them since the fight on friday.

"Ready to go sis?" Emma turns her attention back to me.

"Yeah." I smile and turn to look at Gray, "I told Em I would sit with her which is also your lunch table. I hope that's not a problem?" I tread lightly because I know he's put up with a lot this morning, hell this past weekend has been a lot. And literally none of it compares to what is to come.

"Nope." But I notice his jaw tick, he's pissed.

"Let's go! We're wasting time!" Emma declares.

We follow behind her to the lunch room.

I sit down next to Gray and Emma sits in the other side of me. I can tell this messes with the normal seating of this table but no one says anything.