Carter.

16.

The drive to Stanley's is the longest drive of my life. I'm sweating so much mother turned the air on for me. She never does shit for me.

"Are you sick or something, why are you sweating so much?" She growls the almost caring words as I notice we are less than five minutes away.

"I don't feel very well, but I'm fine." I wipe the dripping sweat off my forehead.

"What is wrong?" I'm almost taken back by her words, was that a hint of caring?

"I've been having hot and cold flashes all day, my throat burns and I've been puking." None of that is a lie per-say. I'm testing my luck but maybe just maybe she won't make me work tonight and they won't weigh me.

"So you're sick?" She glances over at me, watching the sweat trickle down my forehead. I wipe it off again. I've never been this scared in my life. Who knew I was a nervous sweater like this? Not me.

"Maybe." I mumble not sure how this is going to go.

She pulls into the parking lot at Stanley's and parks the car. "Stay here." She huffs before climbing out of the car.

I start to sweat more out of straight fear of what's to come. I try to focus on breathing but its not working.

Five minutes pass and she still hasn't come back out yet. Maybe she'll never come back out? She did leave the car running and the AC blasting... that shows she cares a little right? She still loves me, right?

Another couple minutes pass before she comes back out.

She looks indifferent. I don't know what that means.

She gets back in the car. I look over at her and take a moment to look at her. She's a mess, her normally vibrant blue eyes have doled to the point where they almost look clear, her lips are cracked and her hair looks as though it hasn't been brushed since my dad passed. I feel nothing but helplessness towards her. She lost the love of her life but she also lost herself.

"Since you're only mildly sick, if you go home now and rest you'll be better to work tomorrow un-sick right?" Is un-sick even a word?

"Um probably." I mumble out trying not to look at her anymore, it hurts my heart too much.

"Then that's what you'll do. But I already drove here and a friend is in there for me. So you take the car and drive home, go straight to bed, well maybe stop at the store and buy some shit. Like pedialyte, cold medicine, vitamin C and stuff. And then be back here no matter what tomorrow at 7 pm sharp, ready to work." This is the most she has said to me in a long time. I can barely process the words she's saying.

"Wait how will you get home tonight?" I can't understand what's going on at all.

"I won't. I'll be a little busy here. That's why you have to drive yourself back here tomorrow by 7pm. Understand?" She's just talking now, almost like normal. I can't remember the last time this happened...

"Y-yes." I stutter the word out before she changes her mind.

"Good, see you here in exactly 24 hours. Lo-" She abruptly stops herself. Was she going to say love you!?? She climbs out of the car and I quickly follow to switch to the drivers side.

"Drive well, don't crash my car." She says before walking back inside Stanley's.

What just happened?

I quickly drive away from here before she can change her mind.

Is this real?

I spend the entire hour drive home just thinking about the conversation. Maybe my mom is really somewhere inside there? She almost said love you... it can't just be habit, not at this point.