Carter.

41.

The walk and the bus weren't bad. I'm currently walking home from the bus station and I've never been more ready for my bed.

I really thought I was going to choose Grayson, but I didn't. I couldn't.

I wish I did. I wish I could. The closer I get to my house the more I'm regretting my decision.

I should have stayed with him.

But Emma is only fourteen and I'm only sixteen. Foster care is the only option. And that not an option. I can't lose Emma.

It's January and it's freezing outside. I only have about 10 minutes left of walking until I get home, but I might be frozen by then. Now I wish I would have had Gray drive me home. I was mad on the walk to the bus station so the numbing cold wasn't bad. It cooled me down on the inside honestly.

I normally really like the numbing cold it makes the numbing pain on the inside not hurt as bad. In fact, normally the numbing cold will completing distract me from the pain in my mind.

But now, now I'm more cold on the inside than the outside, and I'm literally fighting hyperthermia. Fuck me. I was a complete bitch to Gray... to just leave like that. I honestly left my heart with him. It's nearly 9pm now and I know he'll be home. The walk and the wait at the bus station took nearly an hour not to mention the bus ride itself took so long compared to driving.

If I turn right at this street I'm only 5 minutes from Grayson's... if I go left I'm 10 minutes from home. His mom will be home, and I've never met her in person... now is not the time.

Fuck it. That fucker has my soul with him. I turn right. My heart beat picking up speed with every step.

My nose and fingers are surely bright red when I walk up to his house. His car is isn't the driveway.

I told him to let me go... I should just let him go. He deserves for me to let him go.

I turn around swiftly and whack into someone. I immediately know it's Grayson. He wraps his arm around my waist before I can stumble backwards.

"Gray..." I breathlessly stutter.

"Fuck Carter, you're freezing." I roll my eyes, he would be concerned about that.

"What are you doing out here?" I ask still out of breath with his arm around my waist.

"Looking for you, I was just at your house. My mom took my car to the store since hers has a flat."

"I should go..." I mutter while panic begins to rise in my chest.

"Stay." He all but begs. I can't, I have to go.

"I have to go."

"Don't." The demand in his eyes stops me in my tracks. "Stay."

"Grayson..." I can read his face so well. I can tell he's been crying, and I've never seen him cry. Something about the look on his face makes me nod. "Okay."

"Let's get you warmed up." And I let him lead me inside. We quickly make our way upstairs to his room.

I notice my bag from the cabin on his dresser. I didn't even think to grab that....

"Dance with me?" He asks playing our slow songs playlist through the speaker in his room.

I don't answer, I just kick my shoes off and take his out stretched hand. I quickly mold our body together. My hands around his neck already playing in his hair. I lay my head in the crook of his neck as we start to sway. His hands wrapped around me laying on my lower back.