Carter.

42.

"What are we going to do Gray?"

"You're going to let me help you." He answers simply.

"How?"

"Well, you're seventeen next month. And at 17 you can get emancipated. If your mom goes to prison you can take custody of Emma and cash your dad's life insurance check." He's got it all figured out huh? I sit up and crisscross my legs.

"I'm not sending my mother to prison Gray." He sits up against the head board of his bed.

"She deserves to go. Look how she treats you and what she's put you through."

"She needs help. She's still my mom somewhere inside." I can already feel the tears springing to my eyes.

"Love, she's not. You lost your mom and dad at the same time." He says very gently but the words still sting. "I couldn't imagine how hard that was for you but-"

"But nothing Gray. I'm not sending my mother to prison. Figure out another way or I'm going to work tomorrow."

"The fuck you are." He growls.

I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want to talk about this anymore. I want to forget and leave all thought of Stanley's behind me for tonight. I like to block it out, every part of it. If I don't think about it, I won't remember it, at least I tell myself that. What can I do to just end this conversation right now?

"Did you know I'm only wearing your shirt and some lacy underwear right now?"

"Babe, what the fuck? You can't say shit like that at a time like this." He rolls his eyes but I can tell he's thinking about it.

"Oh?" I raise my eyebrow at him and quickly straddle him. I grind my butt into him a little. "I think now is a perfect time."

"Carter, we need to figure this out." I start to kiss his neck and mutter "Mmhhhmm"

"Babe I'm serious." He sounds serious but his hands move and rest on my butt.

"So you want me to stop?" I look at him through my eyelashes.

"Well..." I kiss his lips before he can answer. It starts off gentle but it quickly become hot and bruising.

I grind a little more into his lap and he moans into the kiss. I feel like I'm on fire. He starts to kiss down my neck and I can feel his hands lift the back of my shirt just a little. This fingers leaving a trail of goosebumps.

I tilt my head back to give him better access to my neck and a small gasp escapes my lips when he starts to suck lightly. "Gray you can't...." I trail off enjoying the sensation too much. He wraps his fingers through the top my lace thong and I'm immediately thrown back in time in my mind.

The tall man saunters over to me. He looks dark and dangerous, his black hair adding to the overall look of him. I can see the gel in his hair glistening from here, way too much. It gives him a look of being put together but how stable of man could he really be if he's here? Spending his money on this shit?

"Your first time here sweetheart?" His voice makes me sick, it's too rough. He's definitely a smoker and as I walk closer to him the smell confirms it.

"N-no." I stutter out. "I mean it's not my first time here." I look worriedly over at the door. Does that get me a beating? I technically said no...

"Well, it's mine. Why don't you show me a good time?" He drawls as he sits on the edge of the bed and pats next to him. I anxiously sit next to him checking the door again for any sign of the bouncer. The smell of stale cigarettes burning my eyes. Many of the men that come here smell of this and it only makes my fear rise when I smell it. Memories threatening to flood my thoughts of the other nights.

"What do you want to do?" I ask this question every night, anything to get it over with sooner.

"I want to do so much to you but can only afford so much. Stand up." He demands. I quickly follow directions. He positions me between his open legs and I try to control my breathing. His skin on mine burning me. The roughness of his callused hands hurting my skin.

He starts to lift my dress up to my stomach leaving me in my thong with the material of the back of my dress bunched up. His eyes are burning holes into me, taking small pieces of myself away from me with every passing second.

"I want these." He says slowly dragging my thong down by hooking his fingers under the top. I scream no on the inside but do nothing but glance at the door. I would rather get beaten than get touched like this by this man but I would just get beaten and thrown back in here for him to finish his night how he pleases.

I step out of my underwear with his help. He immediately brings them up to his face and smells them. I scrunch up my nose, gross. This sight has occurred so many time but it still is nasty to me. I don't even want to think of how many times I've gone back to my house without my underwear. The men of the night taking them home to add to some sort of fucked up collection I'm sure.

"You smell sweet." He drawls, the hoarseness of his voice hurting my ears. I hold my breath to stop myself from puking. Before I know what's happening he runs two callused fingers along my vag. Tears roll down my face as he brings them to his mouth and sucks on his fingers.

"Stop!" Grayson's hands fly off me in record time. Oh I didn't realize I said that here and now.

"What's wrong?" Pain evident on his face.

"N-nothing." I stutter and quickly climb off his lap, holding myself trying to get rid of the memory.

"What did I do wrong love?" My heart clenches at his words. You didn't do anything wrong...

"Can we just watch a movie or something?" I try to change the subject laying down and facing away from him. I know it's not fair but I can't stop it. The flashbacks hurt almost as much as the first time.

"Yeah but just answer me this please." I roll over to look at him. "Is it me?" His lip quivers slightly.

"No, not at all. It's me and my fucked up head. The way you grabbed my thong... it made me flashback to a particularly awful night at Stanley's." The truth spills out and I feel better.

"Stanley's?" My breath is knocked out of me. I never told him the name on purpose. Fuck me. Panic starts to flood my emotions.

"It's the name of the place I work at with my mother." No going back now.

"Carter..." His eyes get glossy.

"I answered your question and some. Please tonight can we just watch a movie and cuddle?"

"Yeah..." He breaths out reaching for the remote and turning Netflix on. "What do you want to watch?" He asks gently. I don't deserve this boy.

"Something funny." I shrug as he selects a Netflix film. His arm quickly finds me and pulls me against him as I turn the lamp off. I sink back into him and let my eyes close as the beginning of the movie starts. The feeling of his strong arm wrapped around me calming me. I hold on to it with all my strength so he won't move it. It's a simple yet strong comfort. Being wrapped into him like this makes me feel nothing but safe and loved. Two things I never feel at Stanley's.

"I love you Gray."

"I love you." I feel him kiss the back of my head before sleep takes over.

~~

A/N: We're getting close to the end! There is 50 chapters and an epilogue. I still have to decide which ending I'm going with... I wrote three. I'm leaning towards one but I don't know, some reader might be mad about it...

See you in the next chapter!