Blurred out (Pokemon fanfic)

Day 18 ~ Hurricane

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~Aquamarine~
~Day 18~

Leaving early in the morning was a bigger pain in the butt then most things, it had been one of the few nights I'd gotten to sleep at a reasonable hour with no bad dreams to cause me unease yet before I knew it, Alexa was stirring me from my sleep to get ready for travels - we only had two days to get to Mauville City for the next contest. Not that I could even enter since I already had a Mauville ribbon.

Even though Route 112 was fairly short, Route 111 would take at least a day and a half of travel and even that was cutting it close. The journey would be made that much longer by the awkward silence that had settle over the group, Holly still didn't trust me and Alexa simply followed her. I wasn't allowed to have my team out without a reason, deepening my isolation and recessed nature. I'd taken to quiet conversations with North Wind to keep me calm. My guardian and mentor was gentle with me, giving me light scolding for not wanting to do anything and continuing her encouragement to cut out the tracking device in my arm and go into hiding.

"Aquamarine?"

Looking up, I glanced between Holly and Alexa to figure out who had spoken. Alexa was looking over her shoulder, slowing her pace to match mine as I walked a few paces behind my two friends in order to decrease the tension between us.

"You look lonely back here."

"I normally have my Pokémon out with me... and well, walk with you but I have a feeling you don't like me right now... I'm not exactly the most charming person..."

Alexa smiled softly with an eye roll. "How did you end up traveling with us?"

"I think that falls into what I'm not allowed to talk about.."

"Conveniently." Holly muttered.

My cheeks burned as I lowered my head in shame. "I'm fine... Don't worry about me... It'll work out..." I think I was trying to convince myself of this rather then my friends. "Surely we're close now, you've already figured out a lot..."

My friend frowned looking between Holly and me. "Is Holly always mean to you?"

Shaking my head, I blinked back a few tears. "No... I-erm..." I sighed heavily, "I can't really say..."

Again, Alexa frowned. "What would we do if you didn't sleep?"

This took me by surprise. "When it was within budget, we would get me pills that helped me relax a bit more, more my insomnia is a symptom of anxiety and paranoia... things happening while I sleep. But now I'm pretty much on my own financially, I can't do much to help it..."

"You're scared then?"

"Pretty much constantly..." I shrugged. "But I'm used to it, it has been the past six years of my life after all, in the wild, if you don't adapt - you die, plain and simple."

"But your not in the wild anymore."

"Regardless, it's my life, only the strong survive, the weak perish, I have to strong... It's gotten me this far."

The look of pity in Alexa's eyes made me feel bad, I shouldn't be dumping all this on her at once... I averted my eyes to a small herd of Numel, guarded by three large Camerupt as they grazed on the brittle, dried grass that covered the mountain and it's base. The Volcanic Pokemon didn't seem too disturbed by our passing but watched with caution as we passed, especially the largest one I assumed to be the buck of the herd.

~Mistress..?~

"Hmm?" I hummed to myself in response to deter any inquires from Alexa who still walked beside me, although she didn't speak anymore.