the leader • choi seungcheol

thirty two

Joshua finds a spot on the sand a while down , Soonyoung sitting first and then he lays me on the warm sand.

I roll and rest my head on Soonyoungs lap and he immediately strokes my hair. These 2 are theones i always had right there when i was having a panic attack so they immediately know how to react.

Joshua sitts next to him and lifts my hips so they are between his legs and im comfortable across them.

Jisoo tightly holds my hips and he turns to Soonyoung "1, 2, 3."

Then they sing.

They sing Sing For You by EXO. 2 times through the whole song as i cry and tremble, Joshuas thumb rubbing circles on my hip as Soonyoundgs hands go through my wet hair.

After the second time they sing Fiction by BEAST and halfway through my body calms and i breathe deeply.

They finish and i sit up, resting in Joshuas lap.

"Better?" Soonyoung asks, sitting in front of us, his hands just above my knees.

I nod and lean back into Josh, resting my hands on Soonyoungs who takes them and interwines our fingers.

I breathe slowly for a while and finally stand, now sturdy.

I stare at te beautiful sky for a minute and then look down at the endless water in front of me. The water is blue and sparkles.

Its what it consists of and the depth that scares me.

But, i take one final deep breath and i sprint, straight into the waves.

"HYE RIN!" Joshua screams. I flop into the water and fall under the rolling waves.

The water is cool and when i get to the surface i swim out farther.

I hear frantic splashing as i stop and tread water, far out from the beach.

I look down and thats when it finally gets to me.

I panic and scream, loud. 

"HYE RIN!" I hear until my head goes under.

Panic swells me. Why did i do that?

I open my eyes, burning at the salt and isee the reef under me.

Or should i say lack there of, and freak out inderwater, forgetting all of the swimming lessons and flailing under the cold water.

I feel my body sink and i stare down into the blackness.

My muscles are weak from the failing and swimming.

My eye burn as i stare around the blueness. I cant see far either way but i see the reef near where i think i came from but i alsosee the ragged edges of the rock from where it ends.

My lungs burn as water fills them as i panic even more.

Then, my arm is yanked upwards and i am out of the water.

I gasp and cough, my legs kicking hard under the waves, panic filling every inch of my body.

I scream loudly, ear piercing as i am being pulled up again, and i feel myself lay across something and i open my burning eyes and im on Joshuas back as we swims towards the shore, Soonyoung is next to us.

My body is weak and i look around, my body still submerged and i scream again, feeling Joshua flinch.

Finally we are ashore and Joshua strongly lifts out of the water, grasping my thighs around his body as he breaks into a spring across the beach.