Facade

Rambunctious

ram·bunc·tious
/ramˈbəNG(k)SHəs/

uncontrollably exuberant; boisterous.

Rambunctious boys around the corner

——

My mind is still blank. Usually, whenever faced with a problem, all I can think of are options to solve it. Right now, I only have one option but my mind still refuse to deal with it.

"Eonnie..." Jinri said as she knock on the terrace doors.

I fake a smile, I haven't told her. She's waiting for me to tell it to her but I don't have the courage to do it.

"Yes?"

"Is it okay if I go out for a while. Jungkook's been crying. He said he wants to meet me."

"You have your key with you?"

"Jiwon Eonnie forgot to give it back. I'll just knock or stay at their dorm if it gets late."

"Okay... sure. Take care."

She smiled at me and came closer. She hugged me tightly. "Eonnie, I know I'm not much help but I'm here for you."

"You not leaving me for the week and sleeping with me even if your sister in law gave birth is already a big help." I said.

"I love you eonnie, I know you can surpass whatever it is you're going through." She said as she wiped her tears.

"I love you, too. I'll try." I said.

"I'll try to come back as soon as I can."

"No. Enjoy your time together." I said.

She hugged me one last time and turned around.

The house becomes silent again. Just like my mind. There's no negative nor positive thought inside my head. No emotions, just a silent darkness.

A soft knock from the door made me snap back to reality.

When I opened it, Yoongi was there with his flowers. His eyes are drenched in tears. His lips quivering. "I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about." I said. "It's not your fault."

"... but I shouldn't have done that. I should've not been angry. I should have called you. I should've been here. Will you take me back?" He said.

"Will you? Will you take me back with my problems?" I asked.

Instead of speaking, Yoongi let the flowers drop on the ground and hugged me. We both cried without saying a word.

This is more honest than any words that can be said. Our cries tells what we really feel, the fear, the regrets and the gratitude that we're both in each other's arms.

I forgot when was the last time I felt like this with someone. I've learned early that showing negative emotions to my love ones could show me as weak and passive.

I buried them deep inside before they could surface. I stayed strong when everyone isn't.

Sometimes, we need to go back when we were infants and babies. When we could all do is bawl when something's wrong.

This is why I love him. He's the only one who can pull up all those buried emotions within me.

Including hunger. Our embrance was interrupted by a loud grumbling from my stomach.