Will You Stay? (Urban)

20

Domonique

Sleep, Sleep, Sleep.

For the past nine days that is all I have done. I've refused to see anyone but Rah. My mother, Jaylen, Wren, and Flora were forced to sit in the waiting room or leave. As for Jordan, he ain't even here.

Here, as in Monroe. Yesterday he left for New York. Raheem also said he tried to convince Ma to go with him since I wasn't ready to see her yet. When we got into that big argument, standing up actually opened some of my stitches, warranting extra days in the hospital. I must have been on something because the aftereffects were excruciating.

I was stressed out, that was part of the reason I couldn't take seeing her or anyone else.

"Domonique, when you gon' eat?" I rolled over to see a concerned Rah with a bag of breakfast in his hand. "Got ya fav donuts and breakfast sandwiches. It's been four days since ya last real meal. Yeen finna get stronger surviving on ice."

"You think donuts are a real meal?"

He was right, but I felt lousy and couldn't bring myself to eat. I previously had some cereal, but all that came right back up as soon as it went in.

This was the last week before winter break and I had missed the whole thing. Whatever assignments I had missed were probably not going to be done until next year. I wasn't even worrying about school.

"Rah, I ain't finna eat none of that and you knew that before you walked in here." I turned back over and grabbed my phone from the side table and unplugged it. My lock screen was filled with messages, mainly from Jay. I ignored them, as I had done this whole week, and opened Snapchat, watching the stories of my classmates.

Raheem put the bag down in front of me then told me he would be right back.

On the third day of my hospital stay, my pain subsided. The day before, I had to sit through getting my stitches resewn. I went through it with Rah, who has almost never left my side. The marks from my nails digging into my palms are a constant reminder of the pain. They'll heal, though. And so will I.

The days after kind of felt like a blur, a diluted version of how I felt when I was abandoned years ago. I could see the sun and the moon outside but I could never differentiate night from day. Everything kind of just blended into one. I had Netflix and my conversations with Rah to keep me occupied.

On day five Nurse Lin offered to take me for a walk, saying it would help my rehab come along faster. I hadn't left that room for so long it felt weird to step out. Like I was leaving the womb.

The smell of antiseptic was stronger in the hallway, the scent floating around and mingling with the contents of my stomach. While helping me on my crutches, Lin made great conversation with me; we talked about our families and where we were from. She gave me advice about Jordan. Turns out she was very nosey.

"I'm sorry honey but I am a nurse. It comes with the job." Lin told me that siblings fight all the time, which was true. "It will blow over honey. He will not be mad at you forever."

It wasn't until we were nearing the room that I realized that Jay hadn't seen me yet. Just the thought of seeing his face again scared me, and I rushed to seek refuge in my room.

Day six appeared somewhere in the blur; the day Rah went to get me actual clothes. The hospital gown was cool and all but I needed to start feeling like my regular self. I wanted my own clothes but I did not want him to go to Jaylen's house.

"Alright whatever mane, I'm just finna go get you somethin'." When he left, Jaylen called twice. The second time I was this close to clicking the answer button. Maybe if I heard his voice I would feel better.