Will You Stay? (Urban)

29

Domonique

"And I get that, but we aren't on speaking terms right now," I said. After wiping my hands off, I grabbed a glass and filled it with water.

Wren was currently eating me alive about this whole situation with Jay.

"Right, but you have him worried as fuck though! What if it were you looking for him? You would wanna know where he's at and if he was okay."

When I first bust out that door two nights ago, I was completely shattered.

Firstly, embarrassed that I had let myself get so drunk that I was in bed with a nigga I hardly knew. No disrespect to Cam though, he was cute. Also, he was acting real sweet, and I doubt we were actually going to have sex. I don't know if that makes me naive, but I just know he wasn't gonna fuck me when I was like that.

Secondly, I was angry. Angry that Jay had been ignoring me for days or weeks or however long it was. I wondered if I did anything wrong, I kept asking, I basically did everything in my power to make sure he was good and he didn't care. He and Sydney were too busy chasing after each other.

And then he had the nerve to say that I got too comfortable. I felt like a damn fool for even trusting that I could stay with him without that being held over my head.

"He told my ass that I ain't even live there. And I get it, Wren. It isn't my house but I sure did feel like it was! He acting like I didn't do shit. I cleaned, made sure we had food, and I tried to use whatever money I had to try and help with any bills but he never let me."

"Jay made me feel like wherever we were, as long as I was with him I was home. In New York and here. And for him to throw that shit in my face is beyond me."

"PERIOD," Flora added from the living room.

I was so tired of being gloomy over shit that happened to me. I carry things with me a lot, and I have to start letting things go. I couldn't let myself cry over what I felt like was one of the biggest disappointments of my life. Thinking it over, I became more angry than I was sad. I was angry at him for treating me like a second option but also angry at myself for trusting him at all.

"Okay but y'all gonna have to talk it out, and shut up Flo," Wren replied. She joined us in the living room.

"Sorry cariña." As Wrenden walked passed her, Flora grabbed her hand and placed a small kiss on it. Wren stared down at her seductively.

"Ew, can y'all stop being gay." There was a lot of feminine energy in this house, perhaps too much.

"Aye, you came here. Don't get mad cause I'm getting some and you not," Wren said. I rolled my eyes at them. They were so cute and actually in love. I love that for them, and I'd love it for me, too.

"And I'll be the first one to say it: I did not like Sydney from the get-go! She gave me some weird ass vibes and I know you felt it too."

I won't lie, at first I did. But I blamed it on the fact that she wasn't from here, and things are different in New York. "Look, that's just not how I saw it. She not from here so of course we gon think her vibe off."

"Yeah, okay. I don't know what they do up there but where I'm from we don't do that."

"You guys are jumping to conclusions. Niquey, you're not gonna know whether they have something going on unless you ask. You have to talk to him," Flora said. I know she's right, but shit. What he said hurted.

"And go to him, don't go to the girl. She'll lie right to your face. That's what girls do. Boys can't lie, and if they do they'll always end up telling on themselves."

"Amen, and that's why I don't like boys now," said Wrenden. "Come to the dark side, Domo. It'll be the best thing you ever did." I threw a pillow at her head.

"Ay, leave her alone Wren."

As I watched the two of them argue, I disappeared into my own thoughts. Remembering the days when I was only his tutor and halfway his friend. That time was so peaceful when we would just eat food and I would learn him some things. Everything is always so much easier when feelings don't get involved. I always think of where I would be if we never moved in together.

Maybe things wouldn't hurt this bad.

"I'm going for a walk," I stated. Their conversation stopped as they watched me get up and walk towards the door.

"Be safe and don't let nobody take you!" I chuckled a bit and closed the door behind me. The chill hit me instantly, despite how deceiving the sun was.

Looking back, I could have done without the whole Jordan and Raheem situation. And in no way am I mad at Jaylen for pushing me to go back and see them, because if he didn't I wouldn't have been able to beat my mother's ass. But shit, if I knew they were gonna do me like that, I would have never gone to New York to begin with.

I realized that I have very few people to count on in this world. My blood is a no go, and right now, so is Jay. But Wren and Flora will always have a special place in my heart, and it doesn't matter that I only met them through him.

Although I feel like running away from my life and starting again somewhere new, I know that I have nowhere else to go. College life sounding real good right about now.

I will be getting out of Monroe soon, and when I'm gone, don't think I'm coming back.

Jaylen

The house felt empty and bare without Domonique in it. It wasn't that it was starting to get dirty, or that we were running out of food. It was her laugh that was missing or the sound of the TV playing whatever show she was binge-watching on Netflix. What was missing was the energy of a room when she walked in. I miss her presence so much and I regret saying what I said. What kind of stupid ass nigga does the shit that I do?

When you're jealous, you do a lot of crazy things. I had never wanted to scratch with a nigga so bad in my life until I saw her lying on top of him. On God, if I would have walked in while they were having sex, shit would have went to World War III.

In all honesty, I wanted to be in his spot. I wanted to be the one she straddled in between her legs, who she showed all parts of her body to. That should have been me.

I made it clear that I was fucking with her and she should have seen that shit too. But I couldn't wait for long. I wanted to give her all the space she needed to heal from everything she had been put through. She wasn't acting like she was ready for a relationship and I accepted that.

I never meant for it to be me and Sydney, though. She was the only friend I ever saw D have. And now I know they will never be cool again, not after this stunt. I don't know how it happened. One second Sydney was here waiting for Domonique, and the next I'm inside of her.

I ain't even gon sit here and act like I was fighting it. Hell no, I let her take control. And for the first couple of times I was okay, but after Domonique finally started coming around the guilt started to eat at me. And once it start, it don't stop.

I figured I couldn't keep trying to fuck with Sierra, talk to Sydney, and still try and figure things out with D. So I put her on a shelf, tucked away and hidden from me, so that I could figure out my shit and then I would go back. That way, I didn't have to lie to her. If I ignored her for a little minute then I could explain everything once it was over.

If only it were that simple. Sierra, I could get rid of quickly; we had done everything we wanted with each other and that was it. Sydney was a different story.

She honestly didn't care if she hurt D. I ain't think she knew about the history between us, and I'm not sure if D ever told her, but I didn't feel like explaining. If a girl is tryna give you head, are you gon stop her and explain why what yall are doing is wrong? No. you just gon get your nut and go.

And I thought I would just go, but I couldn't. There was no way I could ignore how perfectly we fit together in bed, the way she whispered and moaned into my ears, or how she would arch her back every time I entered. You can't just walk away from that.

Somehow, I needed to talk to Domonique. But as I always do, I'll give her all the space she needs, not only for her to get her mind right, but for me to sort shit out as well.