insane. ➼irwin

deranged

we went to the session again the next tuesday

where Christopher greeted us with warmth.

“hello ashton, jasey

today we will be doing something different.

let’s all take this moment

to think and to tell each other

why the person you’re talking about

should stay in this world.”

it wasn’t that much different at all

but if this did turn out to be

jasey’s last session

i wanted to make sure we’d make the most out of it.

 

marcus- a veteran in session at twenty-nine

and admitted for being a drug addict

looked at julia and he smiled.

“julia

i want you to stay in this world

because you are the most innocent pretty little thing

with the most beautiful heart

that i have ever known.

without you our sessions would consist of nothingness

and i would spend three hours

every tuesday sleeping.”

 

julia laughed and reciprocated

“marcus

i want you to keep living because;

i found that book you really like

and i’m supposed to tell you only on your birthday

but i don’t really care;

i want you to read it so don’t you worry

you don’t have to die yet.”

 

they took turns telling each other

why they should keep living

and it was surprisingly fun because for once

you don’t get to decide

why you’re worthy

of still staying in this God-made earth.

they didn’t say anything about me and jasey

because they probably knew

we were saving that for each other.

 

at last we reach me

“jasey rae

i want you to keep living and stay strong

because i still want to drink with you

i still want to sing with you

i still want to read with you

i still want to sit in that coffee shop with you

i still want to watch old movies with you

i still want to eat cold oatmeal in bed

when it’s raining with you

i still want to kiss you

i still want to hold you

and i still want to tell you i love you.”

the whole group is silent

and a tear slides down my cheek.

jasey cried too and she looked at me.

“i still want you to live

because you probably won’t like

 to join me where i’m going.”

:*:*:*:
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