insane. ➼irwin

unhinged

the worst thing about jasey's death

in my very views

was that she had to endure it in an instant.

if we had more time in between

i would stroke her pale cheeks

and hold her cold hand

and kiss her blue lips

and tell her that everything will be okay

that there is a more beautiful place

than this world that we live in

that i loved her

forever and always.

jasey;

i tried hard to forget about you.

i couldn't sleep

couldn't eat

couldn't think

without my darling jasey in my mind.

she haunts my dreams and i see her everywhere i look.

my heart yearns for the love

that is jasey rae.

and so i close myself up and trust no one.

no one will ever be able to replace you

and i guess i'm just afraid

that if i go out

i would find someone who will.

i have never witnessed a soul resonating so much

beauty within herself.

she was full of ridiculous insecurities

but still a soul full of eccentrics.

she was strange in her own beautiful way.

but she was still hard to decipher

a twist created from the edge of herself.

she was an enigma to the galaxies

that nobody could solve.

my dear jasey so beautiful;

beautiful in a league of her own.

she was as sweet as candy

and as bitter as coffee

if that makes any sense.

i bet she must be smiling right now

hanging with the moon

as she sat between stars

tracing the fancy constellations with her fingers

looking down on the sorry humans

who will never be

as beautiful as she was.

i now reside in jasey's old room

and have officially left home.

it's very grave that i chose to live in a room

that we shared so many memories in

but i guess;

the music from her radio she got from sally

and the replays of all her albums

gave me a sense of escape;

with her.

i never did attend her funeral

but so didn't anyone else.

nobody was there but sally.

but baby, they closed your casket

and there was no reason for me

to attend if they won't show

your beautiful face

among the few of the most precious of God's paintings.

i visited her grave

with a handful of peonies twice a day

because time spoke for me that she deserves it.

i write her a small note and leave jasey

a pack of Marlboro blue ice

because they probably

don't sell this

in heaven.