insane. ➼irwin

unhappy

"ashton irwin.

if you're reading this before i am dead;

please pretend you never saw this

return it under my pillow and act shocked

when you read it the second time.

if i am dead; i'm very sorry.

only time will tell you how long you have left

in this world where fate take us by surprise.

the thing is-

like jesus;

we were all born to hurt

born to get hurt

born to get our hearts broken

born to learn how to fix ourselves

born to break promises

born to lie

born to lose to fate

but most of all;

we were all born to die.

all of us.

none of us can escape

the infinite that is oblivion.

personally i do not believe

in life after death.

even if there is- i don't really think that heaven really exists.

nobody is ever completely naïve and sinless

irrevocably innocent.

nobody i tell you.

that nun you saw bowing down to God

i bet she's seen or heard

things she wasn't supposed to as a youth.

that priest you see every sunday?

he's made sins none of us

has ever seen him done.

how can heaven ever exist when

every being to walk will commit a sin?

my point is; i'm going to hell.

hands down

because i killed my mother.

if i am dead

i would like you to go to my father and tell him-

jasey wants you to know that

even if she didn't remember doing it

she was sorry that she killed her mother.

she loved her very much

as much as any daughter

can ever love her mother

and that she will be joining her.

ashton dear ashton

my love

if i am dead i'd like to teach you of insanity

and how to face the world full of it-

everybody is insane

this is what i told you the first time we spoke.

and i have told you the reasons of my saying so-

the only difference between us souls

is that we are all sad, twisted and insane

in our own special way.

no two insanities are the same.

the best way to overcome insanity is to accept it.

these insane things we do; they make us human.

they make us what we're supposed to be-

regretful, sinful beings

full of mistakes and flaws that underlines us.

they make us understand that

we can't do everything.

i also remember something sally told me

when i first came in at sixteen years old.

she said

"there are not many people in this world

who cares about you;

the easy part is to accept that.

the hard part is to differentiate

between the individuals around you."

i think it holds a million truths

and so i'm lucky because i found you.

i love you ash

on this world or in hell: always.

my heart is yours

and your heart is hopefully mine.

when you go through my stuff

forgive me

for anything i never told you.

you may keep everything you want for i don't mind.

if there is anything you wished i told you

let me assure you

i would if time was willing to spare me of my fate.

i love you very dearly.

i have never loved anyone or anything

more than i love you.

if i am dead; goodbye.

stay strong.

keep our adventures in mind-

keep our memories in mind-

keep our sweet, sweet kisses in mind-

keep on keeping on

but just please try to forget me.

i guess time spoke for us that we knew

my days were running out.

the mistake i made was that

i walked off alone into a fight i knew i would lose.

forever yours,

jasey rae."