Warping to Destiny - A Supernatural FanFiction

Chapter 23 - Thoughts and Feelings

Dean's POV

Of all the strange things I've ever done, I think this is the strangest. I'm sitting here watching myself on a TV screen, doing things I've done but not the way I'm watching them. Someone else from another world who looks exactly like me is looking like he's doing them, but he's only acting. This is making my head hurt…….damn mark of Cain is driving me crazy….NEED TO KILL….no, no I don't need to kill…..have to kill Metatron...yes, that's true. Where the hell is Cas? Why am I sitting here watching this? Need to figure this out, but nothing makes sense…..Maggie is so beautiful….everything I love dies…..can't love Maggie…...NEED TO KILL!!!......No dammit not now….need to wait till we find Metatron, then we can gank that son-of-a-bitch once and for all...wait…

"Oh I never said that!"

Mark of Cain…...shut the hell up, I'm not listening to you….. The guy on the screen, doing things I do, looking like me, but not me…. Maggie, what to do about Maggie…..Can't love her…...everyone I love dies…. God, I'm so scared…. She's sitting here right by me, she smells wonderful… but no, I can't love her…. Can't let her go though… what to do….

"Oh Come on! I don't act like that!" ….. "What?" …… Why is everyone looking at me like that? ….. "I don't do I?"

NEED TO KILL….god dammit, shut the fuck up!!.... My head hurts…. Maggie...what to do about Maggie? …. KILL… Megatron….. Where the hell is Cas?.... Maggie…. Maggie…. …… ……. ……

Sam's POV

This feels so strange, watching me but not me do things I did but didn't do. Interesting though. Look at Dean, I can see he's struggling. We need to get that blade locked up, I don't like what's happening to him. But I can relate, can't I?

"Yeah, Dean, you did say that!"

Do I really have another chance at love? A chance to be somehow normal? Somehow, I doubt that. Something always screws it up. But god dammit, I'm going to grab what I can while I can. I've never felt this way before, not with Amelia, not even with Jess. People talk about soul mates but I never believed that before. I think maybe now I understand what that means.

Have to laugh at Dean. He never can see himself as he is.

"Yeah, Dean, you do act like that, all the time."

Don't like what I see on Dean's face sometimes. We need to talk. Wonder where Cas is? So strange watching the not me on TV doing things I did but didn't do….

Maggie's POV

Sitting here next to Dean is like Heaven. But it hurts too, because I can see that even now he's hurting. I just want to take him in my arms and hold him like he did me this morning. God that felt wonderful, his strong arms around me, comforting me. He acts so big and brave all the time, like nothing bothers him. He thinks he's hiding his real self from us, but he sends it out like a beacon in the night. Wish I could take HIM in MY  arms and wipe away HIS tears, take away HIS pain. I wonder if all this can really last. Katie looks so happy. So does Sam now that I'm noticing that. Well good, I'm happy for her. She deserves some happiness, even if it's only for a while….

Katie's POV

This is nice, isn't it? The boys are taking the show pretty well. Dean is funny. He really can't see that the TV Dean is pretty much like he really is. Scared for him though, he gets these fleeting looks on his face, painful looks. Wonder if that's that damn mark of Cain doing that? Scared for Maggie too. But wow wasn't that awesome when Dean came and held her this morning? He's such a teddy bear down inside, though he tries so hard to deny that, hide it even from himself. Sam. Sam is more than I could ever have imagined. And why he's actually falling in love with me I can't fathom. But I’ll take it. God, what he does to me. Never felt this way in my life…. Fun watching them react to what's happening on the screen. Their interactions are exactly like they've always been in the show. Still don't see how all this can be. This is a puzzle, a challenge. How strange that except for the main flow of events and Sam and Dean themselves, nothing else is much the same. Have to figure this out…….