Shawns POV:
A exhausted "Urrgg" escaped my lips as I let myself fall into the bed. My limbs were heavy as lead, my head hurts like hell as I slip out of my shoes and lean back into the pillows. The last few weeks had been realy intense. I didn't get much sleep between all those events, interviews and long studdio sessions for the album and my body was craving relaxation. Just sleep..sweet, well deserved sleep...
The opening door caused a annoyed sight to leave my mouth. What now.. My eyes role closed as Y/n came through the door frame. I know she's my girlfriend and I love her and everything but right now I just wanted to be alone..
"S..Shawn ca..can we talk..please" her voice was shaky and weak what caused me to open one eye slightly. She stood there looking at me with pain and sadness is her beautiful but yet reddish eyes, her hand was playing nervously with the end of the oversized t-shirt she was wearing. Her gaze wandered between her feet and my eyes. She cried...
"Sure..what's up" I asked uncertain while I made space for her on the bed. She sat down keeping her eyes on her hand in her lab. I did of every situation I could probably have messed up but I didn't found anything. "Babe what's wro-" "Do you still love me?" She asked taking me by surprise" "what do you mean?" "Just be honest Shawn please.." "Of course I love you Y/n." I smiled reaching for her hand but she pulled it away.
Her head rose so she could look me directly in the eyes. "I can't believe you" she wisperd. What doese she mean with that? Year I wasn't that much here for her lately but I still love her I mean.."I don't think I can do this anymore Shawn.." wait no she can't just.."Baby please-" "No there is no Baby Shawn..I can't go on like this. I can't keep on coming from the worst days at work to my boyfriend and not beeing able to fall into his arms, the place I've felt safe and loved like nowhere else, because he lookes at me like I'm just a nother baggage he has to carry, like he hates me.." her voice cracked with the last words.
My heart skipped a beat. Is that how she feels like. Unloved..unsafe..I never wanted her to feel like she's not worth it. I promised to her that I'll never put my career over her like that..But exactly that is what I did. I broke her heart.. "Y/n please listen." She wanted to turn away but I grabbed her jaw and pulled her closer. This time I didn't let her slap my hands away. This time I won't let her go. "No, now it's your turn to listen. Please.." I inhale deeple before I look directly in her eyes.
"I know that I've been a total asswhole lately. I wasnt worth to be your boyfriend because you deserve so much more. You desever someone who is always there for you when you need him. Someone who makes you feel safe and love and beautiful cause that is what you are. Your the most beautiful, presious, stong, loving, powerful, brave and kind woman on this mother fucking earth and you mean so much to me. I know you can't forgive me for beeing such a dick. But I want you to know that I cant let you go and I wont. I won't let you go because I need you Y/n. I need you in my life because you bring out a side of my I didn't know I have. You make me see the world in such a beautiful light with everything you say and do and how you see the world. So please tell me that you give me a nother chance to prove to you that I can be the boyfriend you diserve" The tears in my eyes blurred my view.
"I don't want to loose you Y/n.." my voice cracked as I let off of her face.
"I don't want to loose you either Shawn...and I know that your career is important and it should always be your first priority...but you have to understand that it's hard sometimes to wake up next to a note saying that you had to leave early or waiting late at night untill you finally come home just to go to bed and fall asleep without saying a word to me.." she wisperd weakly
"Hey don't say that ever again. That my work should always be my first priority. I love you Y/n. You are my first priority. And I promise that from this day on you'll fall asleep in my arms every night and the only way you can wake up alone is when I'm downstairs making breakfast for you. Got it?" A light smile tugged her lips making my heart flutter. "Got it" as our hands touhed it felt like the sum bursted troubg a dark clouded sky. Her tiny hands in mine we interviewed our finders.
"Can I kiss you?" I wisperd smiling brightly "hmm I dunno can you?" she grinned pecking my lips softly. I totally forgot how soft her lips were. They tastest like berrys so sweet "I love you Y/n" I wisperd against her lips. "I love you too" her words caused the butterflies in my stomach to go wild. I am so lucky to call her mine...
