"The Chinese Prisoner..."

"The Chinese Prisoner..." Part I...

"The Chinese Prisoner..."

Summary: A surprisingly modest Howard has returned to a global hero's welcome after an incredible space feat.  But he brought some baggage home. 

Disclaimer: All that is Chuck's is Chuck's. 

Part I. 

"Come on, Howard." Leonard urged. 

"Do, oh do!  By the way is the seat sufficiently comfortable?  We can go and buy a better one tomorrow if you wish." Sheldon, eagerly. 

"Howard Wolowitz gracing my spot.  Another picture, Amy."  He urged Amy who nodded and snapped.  .

Umnn. 

"Oh, look.  A blush.  This I've got to get for my neurology study on physiological effects of societal acclaim." Amy noted, snapping. "With the monkeys we have the selected hero or heroine pulled in a cart and showered with bananas and raisins while the crowd is pleasure-center stimulated to adore him or her." she eyed Sheldon's worshipful look. 

Hmmn.  Guess we got it about right. 

"Guys.  You're embarrassing him." Bernadette cut in.  Taking a sheepish Howard's hand. 

"Aw, Howard.  We don't mean to." Leonard, apologetically. "It's just we love hearing you tell the story."

Oh, yeah...Raj, in chair, sighed. 

"It's probably because it's all fake.  Right, Howard?" Penny next to Leonard, reaching for dumplings from the living room table. "The government did it as a publicity stunt for space stuff, right? I saw a guy say so on You Tube right after he showed the moon landing was faked."

"What? Penny..." Leonard frowned. "'You Tube'? Morons deny the earth is round on that.  And 'faked the moon landing'...?"

"Come on, Leonard.  Don't be so naïve." she insisted. "I mean what do you want to believe.  That our Howard single-handedly rescued a Chinese astronaut from certain death and put his life on the line or that the government bullied him into going along with a stunt.  Maybe he didn't even leave the ground."

"Penny.  I resent that." Bernadette rose.  Fists clenched. "You've been saying things like that ever since Howard returned."

"Now girls." Howard sighed. "Penny, it did happen.  But it's no big deal.  I was the guy who knew how to adapt the ion thruster to get our Soyuz capsule into an intercept orbit."

"Howard." Leonard shook his head. "Everyone on Earth saw you leave the Soyuz, propel yourself over to Ms. Peng's ship.  When they couldn't get the capsule to open and that flange broke while you were trying to force it and she was unconscious inside and everyone watching saw the piece tear your suit cuff...  Howard, you nearly died out there saving that lady."

"I want an apology first.  Penny? " Bernadette glared. 

"Sure, fine, whatever.  Sorry." she shrugged. 

"There.  We're all better now." Howard, urging a still annoyed Bernadette back to her seat.  She shaking her head. 

"Bestie, while there's a laudable independence in your refusal to go with the idolizing masses." Amy sighed. "You are rejecting factual sources from multiple points in favor of hearsay and even anti-semitic hatemongering."

"I'm sorry.  Can we leave it at that? " Penny frowned. 

"Sorry you people can be taken in so easy." she mumbled. 

"I heard that!" Bernadette fumed. 

"I'm fine.  We're good.  Please." Howard put up a hand. 

"Penny, the President cited Howard's courage." Leonard sighed. "Thirty thousand Chinese school children spelled out "Thank You Howard !" in English and Chinese so he could see it from space."

"Fine." Penny put up a hand. "I'll say no more.  Nice job, Howard.  Sorry if I rained on your...Latest parade."

"He had me at blast-off." Sheldon noted. "All the rest was icing on the space cake."

"Me too." Raj sighed. 

"Oh, guys.  Look, it was simple.  I duct taped the cuff before I lost any real air.  And Mike was guiding me from the station.  It was a team effort.  Guys, it's not a big deal.  Can't we just have a nice old-fashioned dinner and game night together? It's the first time we've managed not to have reporters banging away." Howard, urgent. 

"Not to mention." Bernadette, hesistant. 

"Thank goodness for that Secret Service protection.  You know they even agreed to look into my complaint about my stolen ostrich Glen that was never returned by that worthless Internet thief." Sheldon noted. 

Leonard taking advantage of the moment... 

"Why do you keep riding Howard like that? Penny, you know it's all true." he hissed. 

Eh.  She frowned, waving. "Look, I apologized.  If you want me to go, fine." she hissed back. 

"I just don't understand why you keep doing this? Are you mad at me because Howard's the big hero? Is that what this is?"

"Whatever you need to believe, sweetie." she frowned. "We all know how shallow Penelope is.  Naturally I'd be ready to dump you 'cause another guy got all the glory."

"Fine.  Lets talk about it later." he sighed. 

Oh, God.  She thought.  Oh, God... 

How can I be so shallow?

"Ok, I've given you the story." Howard noted. "Can we just try and get back to normal?"

"That's not a story.  A legendary feat like yours deserves an epic retelling...With a bard and minstrel singing your praises." Sheldon, insistent. "And to that effect...Amy?"

Oh, boy.  She beamed.  Scurrying to Sheldon's room...

Oh, no.  Howard sighed. 

The group collectively sighing as Amy returned, dragging harp and carrying sheets and a bag which she tossed to Sheldon.  He pulling out two cloaks and caps, one of each he handed to her. 

"Guys." Howard.  Shaking head. "This is all very."

"I am the Muse.  Ohhhh.  Oh...Oh...Oh." Sheldon, in costume began, an eager Amy plucking strings. "That doth sing to you the story.  Ohhhh.  Oh.  Oh.  Oh.   Of the noble Howard of Pasadena.   Ohhhh...Oh...Oh...Oh.  Who rose to the Heavens in a 1960s designed, leaky Soyuz spacecraft.  Ohhh...Oh...Oh.  Oh.  Oh."

Oy vey.  Howard sighed. 

Whatever happened to the Sheldon who despised me?   And who'd've ever believed I'd want him back.  ?

"Ohhhh.  Oh.  Oh.  Oh."

"...OH." Sheldon and Amy in chorus on the last.