"The Chinese Prisoner.”
Summary: A surprisingly modest Howard has returned to a global hero's welcome after an incredible space feat. But he brought some baggage home.
Disclaimer: All that is Chuck's is Chuck's.
Part II.
"Amy…Amy…Amy.”
Amy opened the door to her apartment with a rush. Calm stare…
"Hello, bestie.”
"Sorry, Amy. I think I've picked up bad habits from." apologetically.
"Hello, Penny.” Sheldon rose from the sofa.
"Oh. Hey, Sheldon.” she waved.
Lovely. They would have to have moved on in their relationship.
"Sheldon…I think my bestie is here for girl talk. Please take a rain check on our cuddling and go home or perhaps to the comic book store and return in one hour.”Amy, calmly.
"Really?...No, that's ok.” Penny put up a hand.
"For me, Moonpie.” Amy eyed him.
Penny staring. My God…
"Only for my sweetmess Amy.” he nodded. "One hour. No more.” he eyed Penny.
"She couldn't restrain me with cable or chains after that.” Amy, calmly. Only a slight widening of the eyes at him.
Oh…God. I think they've actually.
Connected?
"I shall return.” Sheldon, dignified insistence. As he went to the door.
"Do not contaminate my beloved with 'You Tube' fantasies or you shall hear from me.” he glared at Penny. "Fifty-nine minutes and forty-seven seconds, my Amy.”
"I'm internally counting the microseconds, my Sheldon.”
Whoa. Penny stared.
"Come, bestie. Sit and spill. And remember for slaves to passion like Sheldon and me, time is lost opportunity.”
"Well. Amy. I had to talk to someone. And you're my best friend.” Penny began, taking seat.
"Oh, pick it up girl!" Sheldon's cry from the door.
"Leave this to me, Moonpie!..." Amy's return. "My love won't let me wait.”
"You ought to set that to music, Amy!..." he called. "I'll try to restrain myself via comic book immersion.”
"Not too much immersion, Shelly-kins!..."
Shelly-kins?...Penny sighing, rolling eyes.
"All right, lets move things along, bestie. I assume this is all about your sudden passion for a short Jewish astronaut-hero whom you once professed and still, obviously overcompensating, attempt to claim to despise.” Amy eyed her.
"You.”
"Sheldon spotted it first, I must admit. I think my feeling for you as my best friend clouded my perception though I immediately agreed with him.”
"You. And Sheldon?...Know?" Penny stared.
"It's only logical, neurobiologically speaking. You know Howard well, he's made vague mating approaches. Now he's suddenly acquired new alpha-alpha-alpha male status and your psychosexual motor is going into overdrive, rather like billions of women on this planet today. And your attempts to deny your feelings through denigrating Howard's achievement are laughably pathetic.”
"Oh, God.” Penny sat back, stunned. "Does Leonard know?..." she eyed Amy.
"Well, laughable and obvious to two of the world's greatest geniuses. Of which Leonard is hardly one.” Amy noted.
He-haw-haw. She gave a sudden Sheldonish gasp. Then immediate calm. "Good one, bestie.”
"Ok. I love Leonard. You know that.” Penny began. Insistent.
"But recent events have reset your sexual furnace. Indeed a hot and sweaty piece of nubile equipment. to 'Danger, whoa' when in range of Howard's newly enhanced vibes. Arguing that power and success are indeed the ultimate aphrodisiac. It's only a natural thing, bestie. Don't be too hard on yourself.”
Pat.
"So you kinda feel the same thing?..." Penny, confidential tone.
"What and betray the man I adore for society's flavor of the month hero?. Please.” Amy frowned.
"Amy!..."
Set of Good Morning USA. 6am.
Howard and Bernadette nervously seated.
Attractive female newsanchor in lovely tailored suit smilingly urging them not to be nervous.
Former actor, her co-anchor striding out to join the group. Shaking hands.
"Where's?" Bernadette, looking round.
"Quite a hero, buddy.” the ex-actor 'news'man noted to Howard. "I'd be angling to play you in the film if I were younger.”
"And a competent actor.” The female anchor hissed to Bernadette. She nervously smiling.
"But what about?" she tried again.
"Oh. Lord.” the anchor sighed. "She's still in her trailer.”
"Trailer?..." Bernadette blinked. "We didn't have a trailer.”
"Neither do I.” the male co-anchor frowned.
"What the frack is up here?..." a strident, if lovely voice. "Where's my latte?...The lighting here is awful!..." emerging from a gaggle of nervous people fluttering about a center.
"We're going in thirty!..." the anchor called. "Ms. Peng?..."
"Outta my way, you. Howard!...Bernadette.” eager call, curt nod.
"Hey.” Howard put up reluctant hand.
"There's my hero!..." Ms. Peng. Lovely, silken-haired. In glamorous, elegant dress. And about six inches taller than Howard, strode over. Kissing him to Bernadette's smouldering fume. Taking seat and hand on opposite side of Howard. "Oh, Howie!..." she embraced him.
Pictures, people. She glared out at the attendants.
"Lilly.” he nodded.
'Lilly'. Right. Bernadette fumed. Americanization of her 'Li' for the audiences. And only because she knew Peng wouldn't be as cute.
"Where's my focus shot?..." Lilly, annoyed.
"And. five. four. three. ." An attendant intoned.
"Just like our retro firing, eh, Howie?..." Lilly beamed. "God, was that a hot ride.”
I know something else that's getting hot. Bernadette, glaring.
YOU ARE READING
"The Chinese Prisoner..."
FanfictionA surprisingly modest Howard has returned to a global hero's welcome after an incredible space feat. But he brought some baggage home
