Always You

57. Panic Attack

I just got home from Rebecca's birthday dinner. I'm so tired. The whole way home whilst sitting in the back of the car I was just thinking about how comfortable and warm Harry's bed is.

Often when I am out, I find myself thinking about being at home in bed. I'm such a grandma.

I was also thinking about him and how I miss him. He's been gone for ten days but it won't be long until I get to see him again. His tour finishes in a couple of days and then we have three whole months to spend together until he leaves again. That's twelve weeks of waking up next to the man I love every single morning and I am so excited for it.

At Harry's house and recently the place I get to call my home too, the lights are all off downstairs so I use my phone flashlight to guide me through the house. I'm not going to bother turning on the lights because I'm heading straight upstairs anyway.

My hand slides up and down the wall as I feel around for the light switch.

"Found it" I whisper to myself and flick the switch. I turn my phone flashlight off and put my phone on charge.

I have a shower and remove my makeup before brushing my teeth and putting on my face cream. I put on the air ventilation as my steamy shower fogged up the mirror in the bathroom.

After a minute, I can now see myself in the mirror. My appearance is so attractive right now. My hair is tied into the messiest bun on the top of my head and I have the towel wrapped around my body.

No matter what I do to prevent it from happening, the small baby hairs at the bottom of my hairline always seem to get wet with water. I feel the back of my neck and the hairs are cold against my skin. They've curled into tiny ringlets from getting wet.

After doing the usual nightly routine, I put my leopard print pyjamas on, hang up my towel to dry and get into bed.

My laptop is on the bed side table on the opposite side to where I am laying so I reach over and grab it. I'm going to continue watching Gossip Girl on Netflix.

Just as I put the series on, my phone rings. It's unusual for someone to be calling at 1am so it's either someone calling on accident or an emergency.

I close my laptop lid and take my phone off charge. I look down at the screen to see who is calling me. I immediately answer it.

"Hey handsome."

"Hailey" he says barely above a whisper. He is breathing heavily. "I'm sorry to be calling you at this time." Now it sounds like he's out of breath, almost like he's in the middle of going for a run or something.

I don't care what time he calls me, I'm just so glad to hear his voice. "It's alright, where are you, you sound out of breath?" That's when I turn my focus off his voice and listen to the background of his environment.

He landed in Mexico yesterday morning so I know that he is there. But I can hear faint yelling and screams as well as some rather loud banging. I hear car horns honking and then Harry speaks again so I turn my attention back to that.

"I-I can't breathe Hailey" he tells me. Now my heart begins to race. "The cars, t-they can't get out."

He's starting to stutter, he has shortness of breath, something clearly isn't going right as I can hear what is going on in the background of the call. This has happened before, I don't know why I didn't realise it the second I answered the call.

Harry's having a panic attack.

"Harry, baby just listen to my voice. Focus on my voice." He remains silent so I continue to speak. "Inhale for three seconds, count to three as you do so" I hear him breathing in. "Now breathe out for three seconds" his breaths are shaky as he exhales. "Good Harry, now keep doing that."