Always You

64. Spill Your Guts Or Fill Your Guts

James Corden and I are sitting opposite one another at a small dining table in front of a large group of people who are the live audience.

Set out on the table in front of us are a numerous amount of solids and liquids that smell horrendous.

Apparently James has been getting so many tweets asking me to be on the show. I know most people only want juicy answers on whether or not I'm dating Harry Styles but I find it so entertaining watching this series of Spill Your Guts Or Fill Your Guts with James Corden.

"Now Hailey, just in case you want to wash out the remains of these delicious food and beverage items - mind you I don't see why you would want to do that they look delicious" James winks. "But if you want to wash out your mouth there's a glass of water beside you."

I look at the glass of water and move it further away from me. "When I was younger I was known for spilling my drinks or dropping things. I am very clumsy so I'm moving this out the way just in case."

James laughs. "We haven't even started yet and she's already revealing secrets about herself."

That was a good one, I'll give him that. "So what have we got here?"

The platter begins to spin as James moves it with his hands and the smell of whatever is on the player intensifies the more it spins.

"Here we have ghost pepper hot sauce." Great, I hate anything spicey so that's a no from me. "Next is grasshoppers."

My eyes widen as I look up at James. "What!" I squeal. "There's no way I'm eating that. It's not as bad as cockroaches but holy shit." When I realise I swore I have to ask James "sorry, can I swear on your show?"

"Swearing is not advised but from what you're about to endure, swearing is acceptable. The editors will just bleep it out."

I nod. "Okay good."

"Here we have pickle juice."

"That doesn't seem too bad I love pickles. I eat a jar at a time and my mum always says to me 'only pregnant women crave that Hailey, what is wrong with you'. In all seriousness I don't know why I crave it."

"Are you pregnant?" James wiggles his eyebrows at me.

I cross my hands together. "Is that one of the questions you're going to ask me?"

He squints his eyes and points at me. "You got me there."

Hanes continues spinning the platter. "What is that? Oh, a calf's brain."

I'm going to ignore that, the poor baby calf I'm not a vegan but I can't stop thinking about those animals. Maybe I should think about that when engulfing a McDonald's cheeseburger then perhaps I would stop eating it.

"Cod sperm."

"What?" I ask James, making sure I heard him right.

"Cod sperm." He smiles.

"A cod as in the fish? This is fish sperm?"

He nods his head. "That is correct."

I take hold of the tiny bowl of cod sperm and raise it in the air. "Any fish ladies in the building want some cheaper IVF?"

The audience laughs and so does James.

"IVF is very expensive so you have a good point there."

"Thank you."

"Fish eye, bulls penis, bird saliva - oh here is one of my personal favourites. A thousand year old egg."

"A thousand year old. How do you know it's a thousand years old?" I pick it up and stare at it. "Oh my god the smell is horrendous that is definitely a thousand years old." I answer my own question.