FALLEN (NOW PUBLISHED ON AMAZON)

28.

We have watched Eddy perform from the side of the stage. I've completely fallen in love with how pure his voice is. It's a gorgeous and simple music with thoughtful and lovely lyrics. I really have to get his album.

I haven't seen a trace of Marcel backstage until right before we go. It fuels my desire to get drunk and let loose. He has that weird spell on me all the fucking time and I am sick of it. I was listening to all of Eddy's longing and romantic lyrics and I kept thinking about Marcel.  He occupies my mind even when I don't want to. I have just told him to leave me alone.

He tries to approach me, but I ignore him and follow the group to the dressing room to get ready to head out. I take my coat and my purse, but I decide to use the loo before leaving the venue. They all wait for me, but I take my time. I need to straight up my thoughts.

I am going out. I will have fun. You'll forget him, at least for tonight. You will enjoy this time with your brothers. I will get to see Cynthia again, Will invited her to join us at the club. It will be fun.

I give myself a soft pep talk and get ready to head out, but I am brutally stopped by a desperate Marcel standing in my way. I look away, not to be too sensible to how he feels. I don't want to care. Why is he not leaving me alone?!

"Grace." He says, resting both of his arms on the sides of the door to block my way out.

"Why are you doing this to me? I told you to leave me alone."

"I told you I can't."

"Haven't you heard me, Marcel? It's not up to you." I walk passed him, but he takes my arm to keep me from joining my friends standing a few feet away.

"I wrote you a letter. Please read it." I look up into his eyes and see him more vulnerable than ever before, but it doesn't change anything.  It's too fucking late.  He should have thought about the consequences before leaving me naked in my flat and insulting me.

"Why can't you let me move on, Marcel? I am done of this drama." I take back my arm violently as I hear him respond.

"No, you are not. You love the attention." I stop breathing and moving as he says that. It's as if all the air was gone from the world.

I do, but how the fuck does he know that?!  It pisses me off from a man that pretended not to know me.

I roll my eyes and turn back to look at him, fully aware of the scene we are causing now that we've left the bathroom. If only he would let me go... I can't bare all these brutal emotions conflicting inside of my heart.  I turn my back to him again to leave him for good.

I see Sophie from a few feet away, rolling her eyes and telling me to hurry up and join them.  Ash then turns and looks at me inviting me to join him with a hand.

"Please, Grace. Don't go with him. Stay with me. We can sort this out." Marcel steps my way, but it only insults me, so I get closer to my friends, but think of a last thing to say before I can let go completely.

"Tell me one good reason why I should." I defy him, knowing fully well how he doesn't know how to express himself, nor like to, even less in public. So I know he will surrender and let me go. I know he is game over.

I look at him with a slight smirk of satisfaction to see him struggle and brake himself from saying what he might be thinking. Victory tastes good in my mouth.

I finally turn around and walk all the way to my friends, silent witnesses of the mess him and I are.  I finally feel like I can turn the page and move on.  He will let me be now.