KIDNAP : FOR A GOOD REASON

Wishes

Shilpa's POV

What is happening? We were chatting in our hotel room, everything was getting fine between us and now suddenly Aai's condition. Aai ne jo condition rakha vo mujhe bilkul manzoir nahi hai...isliye nahi ki main ye nahi chahti...main kaise samjhau Vikasji ko, I love him, more than him, par mujhe darr lag raha hai ki kahi vo mujhe chodkar chale gaye to, main kya karungi, phir se vahi dil ka dard..kitni baar ek hi aadmi se dil tudvaungi...not possible.

Par Aai ne aisi condition rakhi hai ki main na bhi keh sakti aur na hi ha ....main unki zindagi kaise kharab kar sakti hun...vo mujhse chote hai, abhi abhi controversy se bahar aye hai aur sabke favourite hai, apna naam bana rahe hai, aise aadmi se main apna naam jodkar unko takleef kaise de sakti hun...kitne log jo unse jude hai mujhse nafrat karte hai...

Main kya karu? Kisse bolu? Vikasji samjhne ko hi taiyaar nahi hai....aai ko agar kuch hua to sab mujhe jimeedar samjhenge, agar unse shadi ki aur unko apno ne jhidkara to bhi main hi jimmedar hungi...main kya karu?

I was thinking all this when my phone rang...it was Vikasji.

"Hello, mujhe pata hai tum soyi nahi...yahi soch rahi ho na ki kya karu? Please Shilpa itna stress mat lo, mujhe pata hai tum bhi yehi chahti ho...kyu aisa kar rahi ho?"

"Main aisa kuch nahi chahti Vikasji, aap samaj kyu nahi rahe ho? Aapko pata hai aapne apna naam clear karne mein kitni mehnat kari hai...phir kyu aap use phir se badnaam karna chahte ho?"

"Shilpa tumse shadi karke mera naam ban jayega, aur kyu apne aap ko underestimate karti ho, main kabse isi cheez ke sapne dekh raha hun, is baar mujhe humare karma par pura yakeen aa gaya hai...humara karma chahta hai ki hum ek ho, puri kainat chahti hai ki hum ek ho...aur shilpa main tumhe vachan deta hun ki agar kabhi maine tumhara dil.dukha diya, to tum.mujhe jo saja dena chaho mujhe manjoor hai"

"Vikasji, aapko majak lag raha hai na?humari umar par baatein hongi, aapka majak udaya jayega, mujhe mera majak udaya to koi farak nahi padta par aapko kisi ne kuch kaha to main kya karungi mujhe pata nahi"

"Shilpa peechle 7 dino se main aapko samjhane ki koshish kar raha hun...lekin aap manne ko taiyar hi nahi hai..ab main tang aa gaya hun...thik hai main jaa raha hun aapki zindagi se ...jo aapke man mein aye kijiye...jo aapko achcha lage kare...main thak gaya hun...itna to maine aaj tak kisi ko nahi samjhaya,jitna aapko samjhaya. Aap aai ko jo jawab dena hai dijiye, agar u ko kuch hua to vo aapki jidd se hoga...bye"

He kept the phone. He sounded angry. Oh God!!!please help me...maine aisa kya kiya hai jo inke palle mujhe bandh diya....main kaise samjhau ki main inke laayak nahi hu...but achcha hai...at least maan gaye...ab aai ko jo samjhana main samjha dungi

I was thinking all this when I fell asleep....At around 1:00 am, I got a call from an unknown number thinking it is from hospital, I pick it up..but it is Sid, vikasji's younger brother.

"Shilpaji, kya aapki Vikas se baat hui thi kya?"

"Ha...par kya hua?sab thik to hai?Vikasji, to thik hai na? Kya hua sid?"

"Vo...unhone ghar ki saari cheezien phod di hai, kaanch phoda, raat ko sab hungama karke rakha hai, bahut samjhaya par samaj nahi rahe hai.."

"main abhi aati hun"...what is wrong with him?Why is behaving such childishly?

I reach their home and see his condition...he is sitting on floor, back towards the door, leaning on the bed..blood sprewn everywhere, things thrown in the full room...his mum is standing in the hall and crying...I go to her and calm her...then I go in his room, close the door.

"Mumma, please yaha se jaiye, mera mood bahut hi kharab hai, please main kuch kar na baithu"

"Aap aur kuch kar sakte hai kya? Har baat pe gussa dikhane ki jaroorat hai kya? Ye kya haal banake rakha hai kamre ka? Ek aai ki tension kam thi kya jo aapne ye kar diya...kabhi to insaano ki tarah behave kariye..."

Hearing my voice, he turned...there was surprise in his eyes, which were red due to crying..."aap yaha kya kar rahi hai?aapko itni fikr karne ki jaroorat nahi hai? Aap yaha se jaiye...isse pehle ki man aapko bhi kuch karu"

"Achcha kariye.."..i stood in front of him..."Chaliye jitna gussa nikalna hai nikaliye...phir shant hoga aapka gussa? To shuru kijiye"

He gets up, he is angry, he holds my hair and says.."Majak bana rakha hai...pyar karta hun aapse, aur aap uska majak bana rahi hai....kitna samjhaya, kya kuch nahi kiya, even apna ego alag rakha taki aapko apna bana saku...ab kya chahti hai aap...mana karne ke baad bhi aap yaha aayi..kyu? Nahi karti hai na mujhse pyar, to jaiye na....kyu baar baar aa rahi hai...hun main aisa...socha aap se shadi karke apni jindagi ko khushi se bhar dunga...par bhul gaya ki I was selfish....galti.ki maine...jaiye aap...jee lena apni jindagi...aapko to aapke maa ki bhi nahi padi hai...aap kya kehti hai..kisi ko khona nahi chahti....par aapko kisi ko apna banana hi nahi hai...aap bahut selfish hai Shilpaji, aap sirf apne baare mein soch rahi hai...ye nahi sochti ki dusre ke upar kya bit rahi hai..."

He stopped...there were tears in his eyes, his hands were bleeding but what affected me the most was what he said..was I selfish? Really, this is what he thought about me?

"Shilpaji, main thik hun...aap jaiye yaha se..main phir aapko kabhi takleef nahi dunga..khush rahiye.."

He pushes me out of the room and closes the door. Reality hits me with a blow....oh God!!!Why did I have to wait for this? Why couldn't I agree earlier? Why couldn't I see all this when all was calm? I am totally a selfish woman...I go to his mom who is sitting and crying...

"Auntyji, main shadi ke liye taiyaar hun...aap aai se milkar sab tai kijiye..I am ready....please Vikasji ko sambhaliye"

Saying this I run out of there....I made a fool of myself...Sorry Vikasji, You had to go through all this...I love you but maybe I am coward to accept it..maybe I am running away from commitments...but this time no...i will not run...i can see your love towards me....I will not betray you...never...