when you least expect it | sean lew

[ eighteen ]

***

"You okay?" Sean asked as he and Kailani took a water break.

She nods slowly. "Yeah.. I just don't think I'll ever really get used to being put on the spot to dance. I love dancing but never really fell in love with the whole performing part. I only really love it when I am 100% happy with what it looks like which is why I practice so hard."

Sean nods, knowing he wasn't really able to relate but didn't want to make the situation even more uncomfortable for Kailani. He just wanted to be there for her. "You know.. you're pretty hard on yourself.. and that's coming from me."

She laughs. "Yeah.. I always want to make sure I'm satisfied with myself as a dancer, which resulted in me being a perfectionist and a hard ass on myself."

"Yeah, I can be the same way." he says. "I'm always wanting to be the best at whatever I do, which ends up with me beating myself up. Everyone expects excellence from me so when I don't deliver, I feel like I disappointed them and it's like all my hard work was for nothing."

She looks at him, confused. "What do you mean don't deliver? Everyone is always impressed with you no matter what you do. Like, you could get out there on the dance floor, do nothing, and people would still be giving you a standing ovation."

He laughs. "I meant like whenever I feel like I'm not my definition of excellence or when I feel like I personally didn't do my best."

She nods, surprised that even Sean had his moments of insecurity. "You know, you probably shouldn't be saying all this to me.." she says. "It could really destroy your Mr. I'm kinda a hip hop superstar reputation."

He chuckles. "Maybe I'm kinda over that reputation.."

Kailani raises her eyebrow, surprised. "Well, I'll be damned, Lew.. never thought I would hear you say that with your confidence."

Sean rolls his eyes and sees someone come to join him and Kailani.

"Seanny pie!" a girl exclaims, giving him a hug. "I didn't get to say hi to you earlier so I figured now would be a good time."

He smiles. "Of course." he turns to Kailani. "Kailani, this is Jade...or should I say Princess Beast?"

Jade rolls her eyes and pushes Sean's shoulder playfully. She smiles at Kailani. "Ahh, the famous Kailani. I know you've been in immaBEAST for a couple weeks now but I haven't been able to get around to saying hi so I'm sorry we haven't gotten to meet yet!" she says, giving her a hug. "I've heard so much about you though."

Kailani smiles as she pulled away. "Oh, really?"

"Yeah!" she exclaims, putting her arm around Sean. "Sean over here nonstop talks about you whenever we FaceTime. He's always talks about how you—"

Sean's eyes immediately widened as he quickly put his hand over Jade's mouth to stop her from talking.

Kailani starts laughing. "Wait, I think I wanted to hear the end of that sentence."

Sean glares at Jade as he pulled his hand away.

"Oops..I've said too much." she giggles. "I'll see you around, Kailani, and good luck out there!"

Kailani smiles. "Thank you! I'll see you." she says before turning to Sean. "So.. Sean, what was the end of that sentence, huh?"

Sean tries to hide his embarrassment by looking away from her. "Uh.. Jade's like another big sister to me. Always trying to embarrass me. It really is nothing."

She smirks. "Yeah, okay."

"Can we just get ready for the group performances? How are we going to do the freestyle?" Sean asks, trying to quickly change the subject.