part of me | e.d

sixteen

ETHAN'S POV

i cannot believe i almost just told her.

if it weren't for grayson walking in, i might've just ruined our entire friendship. 

i tried changing the subject, but i know she was still thinking about it. we were still sitting on the couch, watching some random free movie. i moved over a little, keeping some distance between us.

i wanted to hold her hand again. it felt so right, and she didn't pull away when i did.

she had her arms crossed over her stomach, staring intensely at the tv while biting her bottom lip. she was lost in thought.

"you know, i'm actually getting really tired. i'm think i'm going to head up to bed." rylin stands up, taking the blanket off of her. she seems bothered, probably because i said i was going to tell her something and then didn't. or probably because here i was, holding her hand and flirting with her while i still had a girlfriend.

i was such an ass to do that.

but with rylin, i couldn't help myself. she was so goddamn perfect. 

"okay," is all i respond. she hands me the tv remote and walks upstairs.

i turn off the tv since i might as well go to bed, also. i head up to my room and lay on my bed, checking my phone one last time. i notice i have a notification for a text.

kara | 9:23 PM

i miss you. can you come over? ;)

i roll my eyes when i see her text. every time she suspects i'm with rylin, or any other girl for that matter, she asks me to come over for sex. i didn't even want to talk to her anymore. the person i actually wanted to talk to is a hallway away upset at me right now.

me | 9:31 PM

i don't feel like it

kara | 9:32 PM

why? 

you're with rylin, aren't you?

she was getting on my last nerve already. i hated the way she treated and talked about rylin.

i leave her on read and turn off my phone, putting it to charge on my nightstand. i fall asleep stressed about my feelings for rylin. 

maybe i should just tell her. she might feel the same way.

but she's my best friend. if my feelings are one-sided, i could risk losing her in my life.

shit, i don't know what to do.

-

MONDAY

since rylin's jeep is still at her house, i drove her to school. we didn't talk the entire car ride. it was awkward as hell.

i walked with her to her locker. she put her coat away and grabbed some books for her classes, ignoring me the whole time.

i decide to try and explain myself for last night. "hey, about yesterd-"

"you know what, ethan? i don't want to talk about it. i'm tired of you playing with my feelings for you while you still have a girlfriend." she slams her locker closed, turning to face me.

i replay her words in my head. "wait, you have feelings for me?"

her face turns a deep pink while she looks at the ground, the realization crossing her. she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, unable to meet my eyes.