part of me | e.d

eighteen

i begin heading into the school parking lot.

i can barely see through the tears. i feel so ashamed. everyone was just staring at me with pity and i hated it.

i just wanted to move past that horrible night of my life. now that wouldn't happen with everyone already judging me.

as i continue walking, i feel a hand wrap around my upper arm. i turn around to be faced with ethan.

"rylin, please wait." i look up into his pleading hazel eyes, noticing the blood dripping from his nose and mouth. he looks awful.

"ethan, just leave me alone." i try taking my arm out of his grasp, but he holds on tighter and pulls me to him.

"rylin, wait. i am so sorry-"

"ethan, let go." i finally yank my arm out of his hold, turning around to continue walking.

"where are you going?" i hear him call after me.

"walking home." i still didn't have my car since ethan drove me here, so it was my only option.

i hear his footsteps as he jogs up to me and grabs my hand. "at least let me drive you. please."

i stop walking, thinking for a second. "i don't want to be near you right now."

"rylin, stop being so damn stubborn and let me drive you. i'm not letting you walk the entire way home." he starts pulling me with him towards his car.

"ethan!" he lets go of me and opens the passenger door, waiting for me to get in. i just roll my eyes and give in, sitting in the seat and crossing my arms over my stomach.

he closes the passenger door and gets into the driver's seat. "put your seatbelt on."

i sigh, uncrossing my arms and strapping on my seatbelt. ethan pulls out of the parking lot, heading onto the main road.

he's tapping the steering wheel with his thumb, lost in thought.

"ry, i am so unbelievably sor-"

"stop talking, ethan."

"goddamnit it, rylin, why won't you just listen to me?"

"because i'm angry at you! i cannot believe you announced that to the entire school, ethan!"

he slouches back in his seat, stopping at a red light. he turns his head to look at me, "let me explain myself."

"no, just take me home ethan."

the light turns green and he steps on the gas. "alright, fine. we'll talk about this at home."

i pause for a second before responding. "no, take me home. to my dad's house."

when i look at him, i can see the surprise in his face. the hurt.

i feel my heart crumbling at the sight.

the one thing i never wanted to do was hurt him. he was making it so hard to be mad at him.

ethan runs his hand through his hair, exhaling loudly. he makes a sharp turn, now going in the direction of my house. he stays silent the rest of the ride.

when we get to the house, he parks in my driveway and we sit in silence for a few seconds.

i finally reach for the door handle, but quickly feel his hand grabbing a hold of my wrist. when i turn around and meet his eyes, i see them lined red and glossy with tears. "please let me come inside with you. let me apologize."

i pull away from him, getting out of the car without another word.

when i reach my front door, i hear ethan slamming the car door, following me. i quickly get inside, closing and locking the door behind me.