part of me | e.d

thirty-three

"i just want to talk," kara says, walking straight past us into the apartment.

amy glares at her, still crossing her arms. "we don't want to talk to you. especially not after all the shit you've pulled."

"this is none of your business, amy." she turns away from her and looks at me.

"um, it is my business when a bitch is in my apartment. how did you even find us?"

kara sits on the couch, completely ignoring amy, and looks at me. her eyes are glossy, welling up with tears. "please, rylin, can we just talk."

i don't trust her at all. but something about her tone of voice makes me want to hear what she has to say.

i nod and give amy a signal that it's fine. i then walk over and sit on the couch across from her. amy stays standing near us.

kara narrows her eyes at her. "i would like to talk to rylin alone."

amy scoffs. "like i would leave your psychotic ass alo-"

"amy, it's okay. really." i give her a reassuring nod.

amy hesitates, but finally walks away into our bedroom. i know she's probably listening with her ear pressed up against the door, anyway.

i look back at kara. "what is it you want to talk about?"

a few tears roll down her cheeks. "you need to understand how unbelievably sorry i am for what i did to luna."

i roll my eyes. "you're sorry? do you know how meaningless those words are? you tried killing a baby. your baby."

"i know, and i regret it so much." she wipes her eyes. "i wish i could take it back."

"well, you can't." 

"you're right. i can't take it back. but it's not like she'll remember this, right?"

i furrow my eyebrows. "that doesn't matter. this was still very traumatic for her. the only person she even trusts anymore is ethan."

"but i'm her mother. she can't hate me."

i sigh. "kara, have you not noticed the way she screams every time you take her away from ethan? i can't even imagine what she'd do now that you've tried to kill her."

she sniffles. "um, by the way, is she okay?"

i debate whether or not she even deserves to know. but i finally just say, "she's fine."

kara exhales in relief. "oh, thank god. i love her so much."

"do you really?" i narrow my eyes at her.

"of course i do." she looks at me like i'm crazy.

"okay then, please help me understand. if you love her so much, what reason could you possibly have for doing this to her?"

"rylin, i don't know what i was thinking. i had been drinking and i couldn't think straight and she wouldn't stop screaming-"

"are you really trying to blame this on luna right now?"

"no! i know i don't have an excuse for what i did." she rubs her temples. "is there anyway you can just understand me?"

i stare at her in disbelief. "are you fucking kidding? there is no way i'm ever going to understand what you did."

she starts crying again. "please, can i just have a second chance? i want to see my baby."

"kara, ethan is never going to let you near her again. he already told the police what happened."