" and you, my father, there on that sad height,
curse, bless me now with your fierce tears i pray.
do not go gentle into that good night.
rage, rage against the dying of the light "
blood runs thicker than water.
| dying of the light by kona |
|...
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"YOU'RE BETTING THE SURVIVAL OF THE RESISTANCE ON LANDO CALRISSIAN?"
halo's eyes narrowed in annoyance. she hadn't noticed that ben had been eavesdropping on their meeting, and she was truly lucky that nothing vitally important was said, for he had heard every word. she swore to herself that she would never sit in on another briefing again.
he had appeared to her at a terrible time. she was on the edge of a peaceful meditation, sitting flat against the wall in the corner of an emptied supply room, until his deep voice had penetrated her much needed mental clarity.
"it's not like we have much of a choice," she muttered, her hands gripping each other so tightly that they were turning ashen. "hux is monitoring every edge of the galaxy. we need someone to come to us. to move would be suicide."
he eyed her carefully. she noticed how sick he looked, eyes dark and bruised as if every night that had passed since she had last seen him had been sleepless. he hadn't manifested to her for some time. most of their recent communication had all been in her head, and she was fine with that. she didn't want to face the man he was right now, when she knew that he could be so much more. he was so close. so close. but he just couldn't seem to allow himself to see that. and now it was starting to feel like luke's death was in vain.
he sensed her thoughts steadily turning darker, and let out a long breath.
"your face betrays you, halo. i know you're being torn apart."
her light irises tensed, burning so hot that he could nearly feel them burning him. for some time, he had been closing himself off, halo could sense that now. the carefully constructed barriers and walls he had erected since the day he murdered his uncle stood in plain sight in her mind's eye. so close that she could nearly touch them. but as he spoke, she could feel them crumble, ever so slightly.
halo knew he was there. somewhere underneath.
but she didn't know if it was possible to retrieve him. not anymore.
"spare me your sympathy, ben. please. i don't have the time for it, nor the will to listen."
his lips tightened in brief anger, and he rose to stand. halo closed her eyes, not bothering to watch him walk to the other side of the room. she could feel his tensile rage, twisting and bubbling inside of him like a snake. but she could also feel him attempting to push it down.
her brows knit together. something was off.
she had grown used to the emotional brooding radiating from the other end of their force-bond. but this was different. he was angry. but it wasn't at her. something was going on, on the inside.
"what is it?" she found herself asking before she could stop herself. her eyes opened up, raising to meet his own dark ones as he looked down at her.
pain. and so much of it.
"what do you mean?"
she shook her fiery head of hair, and stood up quickly. she was close to him now, and could feel heat radiating from him. he was manifesting so clearly to her now. it surprised her how readily she allowed it. for so long, the thought of him had evoked nothing but mourning rage. luke haunted her every move. but right now, the thought of her master was a mere echo.
his dark eyes questioned her own, and she held his gaze for so long that he made to turn away in discomfort.
"look at me, ben. you can't hide. even if you wanted to."
for a moment, his eyes held their position away from her. but then, he turned back. his dark hair swept about his face, framing the slowly healing scar and dark eyes halo could not seem to erase from her mind. she could see leia in him. but more importantly, she could see han in him.
her throat grew thick.
"i..." he started, his deep voice drawing out. he looked like he was trying to communicate something with her, like there was something so incredibly important he had to say.
"i may have been discovered."
halo's brows pulled together.
that was not what she had expected to hear. but the second he said it, goosebumps littered the pale skin of her arms.
she felt something deep inside of her. her stomach churned. luke's eyes seethed inside of her mind.
"discovered?" she asked, eyes wide with curiosity and trepidation.
"yes," he said. his voice was strained. like every syllable was killing him a little more. "by hux. i think he knows."
"knows what?"
halo stared at him, entreating him to say something further. she could feel the turmoil inside of him. how he was being pulled from all sides. his heart was splitting at the seems.
he opened his mouth, but halo's ears were met with only silence.
then, an image of leia appeared in her mind. ben looked at her pleadingly, as if begging her to understand.
for a moment, halo stood in still confusion. but then, realization washed over her coldly. her mouth fell open.
"oh no."
her heart thundered in her chest. ben's hand came to rest on the side of her neck. the shock inside of her veins disabled her from moving away. she could hardly breathe.
"hide her. keep her safe. please."
and then, he was gone.
halo stared at the empty air before her, and beckoned her lightsaber over to her from where it sat on the ground with her hand.
hux knew leia was ben's mother.
now, the target that laid on every remaining rebel's head had turned their course. they were all on leia.
before she could compute what she was doing, her feet were carrying her down the hall. she didn't stop walking until she reached poe's quarters. this changed everything. hux wouldn't stop until he saw her dead.
this secret was the only thing keeping them truly safe. now that he knew, his fury would come out in full force. and ben would pay the ultimate price.
halo let out a sharp breath, hesitating her hand over the keypad to poe's bedroom before finally entering in the code.
