School is hitting me like a ton bricks.
I struggle to keep my eyes open as our P.E. teacher lectures us about the rules of the class for the first time since the beginning of the school year. My class is only seniors, and a lot of people have been ditching. The coaches are officially sick of it.
My mind still races despite everything going on around me. It doesn't help that I'm exhausted, either.
Staying up half the night tossing and turning because you're going through a self induced existential crisis isn't ideal. Especially when it deals with the lead singer of your not-so brother's band who you kissed and had a wild dream about.
When Michelle rushed into my room and announced that Duff, Izzy, and Axl were leaving, it only added to my frazzled state. I had no choice but to go through with what I said before I bolted. Saying bye wasn't an emotional ordeal-it was awkward. I didn't know what to do with myself.
Do I hug him? Do I ask when I'll see him again? Am I acting like myself? Why am I so nervous in the first place?
All these things were running through my mind just as Axl opened his arms and I stepped into them without a second thought. I'm blaming it on my teenage hormones that still hadn't leveled off from the dream my imagination concocted.
Getting very little sleep did make me realize one thing:
Axl and I haven't been at each other's throats.
It's so weird!
I don't even really know why we butt heads. It's just something we've always done.
Seriously, we usually find anything and everything to debate about. This entire weekend has been fight free.
But you know what? I'm not going to contemplate it. Whatever! Enough out of this world stuff has already happened between Axl and I, literally and in my head. Us being civil is a good thing, no matter how it's come about.
I really don't have any more time to guess on it, not when Michelle starts tugging me up and off the bleachers. I didn't even realize we were moving on now.
I already told her that I was up studying last night, and she bought it.
"Don't pass out on me," Michelle warns.
"I won't," I sigh.
I quickly figure out that we're now being allowed to do whatever we want. Thank God.
Free time is actually just Michelle and I pretending to look busy when really, we're talking.
Once we've found a somewhat shady location near a big oak tree around some other groups of people (yes, people-we have a co-ed P.E. class) I try my hardest not to sit down.
Even though I'm out of the sun and my hair is tied up, it's humid in California during the spring. The combination of being tired and hot is horrible.
"I'll be right back. I have to talk to Bonnie about the precalc test."
"Okay." I hardly even listen to what Michelle is saying, my eyes staying on the grass. Maybe if I ask to go to the nurse, Mom will come pick me up early. But then she'll call dad and he'll worry. Nevermind. . .
I'm still plotting ways to get myself home and in bed when I realize that Dylan Reynolds is walking towards me.
Oh, for the love of God. We're really going to talk right now? I was hoping to push it back as far as possible.
