Rain | Harry Styles

3.9

'tell me now, tell me now - tell me will you ever love me again?'

(where do broken hearts go - one direction)

erm my favourite song of all time tbh^^

-

I parted my lips in efforts to speak, but words didn't come. I snapped my mouth shut, my eye contact not breaking from hers, and the very gaze she held could've brought me to my knees. She didn't say a word, only met my stare and held it - her eyes didn't hold the vibrance they had six months ago; the glint they always held and the sparkle of the irises was absent. My bottom lip began to shake as I studied her carefully, and it felt like a thousand knives stabbing repeatedly into my gut - the past six months all came flooding back; the sleepless nights, the endless denial, and my surroundings were now silent, blank. Everything suddenly became nothing, and the silence within the room was deafening.

Call it fate, call it coincidence, but Ana Levin stood directly in front of me, and all she would have to do was speak in order for me to crumble at her feet.

Her skin was pale, her eyes sunken in with deep purple circles framing them, her lips visibly chapped and cracked, her hair scraped back into a ponytail. My eyes fell to her hands, shakily gripping the very novel I'd been looking for - 'Pride and Prejudice' - the only other person who would take out that book. I almost felt a smile pull at my lips, the idea of her curled up with the book she loved so much making my heart race - the smile didn't last longer than a mere second as our eyes met again, and I saw the expression of hurt on her features.

"Ana, I'm-" I stammered, desperately trying to search her eyes in the way I used to, read her expression, and know what she was thinking - but I couldn't. I couldn't read a damn thing, as she lurched forward and dumped the book on the table without another word, and turned to race out of the store. Fucking hell.

She hated me. She hated me so, so much, and I didn't blame her. I'd left her - I'd genuinely gone and fucking left her. Yes, I had to leave Seattle either way - but I could've tried to make it work, texted her, called her - not broken up with the first and only girl I've ever loved. And then, to fucking appear back in her life after she'd moved on to somebody new - Hemmings. 

I leant forward onto the desk, burying my face in my hands as I blew out a long breath, a hand meeting my shoulder.

"Harry, what's-?" Hugo cut himself off as I looked up, and his eyes met the book on the counter in front of me. He nodded slowly to himself, muttering something as he came to the realisation, "Go home, Harry. It's Saturday.. you can start working properly on Monday after school."

I didn't say anything else as I pushed myself back from the countertop, heading straight for the door of the store, swinging it open and hurrying down the street.

A.

"You what?"

"I saw him," I repeated for the third time in the past five minutes, running my hands through my hair as I paced around Tasha's room, "He's back in Seattle, Tasha. He's fucking back, and I don't know how, or why, or-" 

"Shh," Tasha coaxed, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me close as I broke down into pathetic sobs, burying my face in her shoulder, "You're okay, babe, come on," she continued to rub my back gently in attempts to calm me. 

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, sitting down against the wall, "I don't even know why I'm crying again, I just-" I sighed, trailing off, "seeing him again.."

"Oh, Ana," Tasha came to sit beside me, winding her arms around me once more, "You don't have to be sorry."

"He never called. He never texted, and I tried, Tash, I tried so hard," I shook my head, taking a deep breath, "and I don't blame him for leaving.. of course, I don't - that was my fault, if anything, and I have no right to be upset about that, but.. if he really loved me so much, he would've tried, Tash. And 'not knowing about relationships' doesn't justify it anymore," I ranted, glancing at Tasha who was listening intently as I continued, "I thought I was over him. I thought, 'hey, if he doesn't give a fuck about me, why should I give one about him?', but that was when I didn't see him. Now I've seen him, and it all comes flooding back, and-" I broke down into sobs again, Tasha wincing as she tightened her arms around me.