The Life We Share

Chapter 13- Jared

I didn't get as much done as I wanted on my trip sorry for the delay again🙄
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I stare at her door, still on the floor, still in shock over the shit she just pulled. Who the fuck does she think she is? I mean honestly what the fuck was she expecting? Did she think we were going to get married spend the rest of our lives happily married sharing everything? Did she think we were going to be one big happy family? Huffing I get up off the floor and go into my room slamming the door behind me, agitated by the woman across the hall yet again. God she knows how to push my buttons! She's so annoying! Honestly we fuck what the hell kind of relationship did she think we had other than fuck buddies? We're not even that! She watches my children, I pay her to watch my kids, that's what she's here for that's what she does. So why the fuck did she start crying when I told her the truth, that is what she does. She's the nanny, nothing more than that. Why the fuck was she crying at all? She never cries about anything. And hitting me what the fuck was that about?!

Fuming I kick my desk chair away from the small desk in my room before running my hands through my hair. How dare she?! Who the fuck does she think she is?! I could feel the anger rising in my body, I was pissed, beyond pissed, this woman had me livid. Why the fuck am I so mad? What the fuck do I have to be mad over? Groaning I flop down on my bed. She just gets me so fucking mad, so riled up. She drives me up the goddamn wall that bitch. With running into her ex today and talking to fucking another one on the phone, she's begging to be punished. Was that what she wanted to tell me? That she ran into Keith today? I can't stay in here any longer I have to go for a run.

I get undressed and get into my running clothes stepping outside, putting my Bluetooth headphones in I pick up my usual pace. It doesn't take me long to pick up the pace my breaths coming quick and fast, making my chest hurt, sweat beading down my forehead. I run faster my feet pounding the soiled grass as the last of the snow turns to mush, but the air is still fridged. My breath comes out quickly, turning into vapor in the air disappearing in the early morning twilight. When did it get so dark? When did it get so late or rather when did it get so early? As I lap around the back door I think about Fiora.

She must really be mad. Usually she'd be out here, yelling at me about something. That seems to be something else we have, always being bitter to one another. I know she has every right because when and if she does ever gets sappy with me I immediately shut her down. I don't want a relationship, I don't want to have to deal with all that shit that I went through with Victoria even though we weren't even really dating. Maybe she's the reason why I'm so bitter. Not that that's an excuse for me to be cold to my children, but what am I supposed to do about it? I want to be close to them I really do, but whenever I try I think about them getting hurt by the fame that takes over whenever I leave the house. I don't want them to have to live a life where they can't be themselves because someone's posting shit about them on social media or in tabloids. They deserve better than that and if it means I have to keep my distance for that to happen then so be it. She can hate me all she wants for not spending time with them, she's not my wife or their mother. Victoria couldn't give two shits less about what happens to those kids and I don't care what Fiora says or what Victoria told her. She never loved those kids, she never spent time with them, Hell I spend more time with them than she ever did.

I stop running just after sunrise, sweat soaking my shirt making it cling to my body. I expect the twins will be awake soon, I should shower and get ready for breakfast. As I climb the stairs getting ready to do just that something comes to mind. "Don't touch me ever again, don't speak to me unless absolutely necessary, don't even fucking look in my direction unless you absolutely have to." She was so fucking mad. I want to respect her wishes but I don't want to at the same time. She has no right to tell me what to do.

As I come down the hallway stripping off my jacket and undershirt I see her door start to open. My heart skips a beat and my body freezes up. What the hell are you doing Jared? She looks like she just got out of bed after a long night of not sleeping. She obviously wasn't used to it like I was she had bags under her eyes and they were puffy and red. She clearly didn't stop crying last night. What the fuck did she have to cry over? She doesn't even seem like the type of girl that would cry, that seems to weak for her. She doesn't look up at me as she walks down the hall. For a brief moment I fight the impulse to reach out for her, to touch her. My heart lurches as I watch her back shrink down the hall before she disappears down the stairs. I feel like I'd seen a ghost, like she wasn't real, but I know she was. I know she is real better than I know myself probably. I know how to tease her, where to touch her to have her screaming. I know every moan and wanton pant of her breath before she cums. I knew just how to get her spread eagle in my bed. I felt the familiar pull in my belly as the image of her as such comes to mind. The sound of her moans threatening to undo me and its simply my imagination. I go in my room pretending like it didn't affect me the way it did. She always has some kind of effect on me and I hate it. She's nothing special, who cares if we share things in our past so does half the other population.