Genre : Angst Summary : Watching the sunrise became Felix's lonely thing.
(Felix's POV)
It was that time of the night. I knew she would meet me up there. So I left my apartment. As I arrived on the rooftop, she was already there, waiting for me. She smiled and I smiled back.
Gorgeous.
I sat next to her at the edge of the rooftop, while she was hugging her knees, looking at the starry sky. I couldn't help but look at her instead. How can she be so pretty ? I sighed and she chuckled knowing fully what I was thinking.
After few minutes, she get up, taking my hand in the process and lead me to her favorite place. It was our thing. Every Saturday night, we would meet up there on the rooftop, just to look at the sunrise. It always had been her favorite thing and I was too whipped for her to prevent her from doing so.
As we were running on the rooftop, her hand in mine, she was smiling brightly. I looked at her. She seems happy. But I suddenly realize that I had that feeling only when we were here. Most of the time she seemed... off, off of the world.
« You should have been there »
I looked at her, confused. We were now resting a bit after the long run we just had. She wasn't looking at me. Still at the sky. She may be lost in her thoughts.
We knew each other for so long and as far as I remember I always had that crush on her. She was different. She was Y/N. No one could make me feel the way she did. And the more I thought of it, the more I felt blessed to have her in my life. However, she was a loner. Never really express her feelings, she didn't talk that much. She was more into actions. And from what I knew, I knew that she cared for me. Even though she never said it, I just knew.
Few minutes passed, the night was still fully there and we had some times before the sun would rise. She put some music on while we were just looking at the sky.
« You could have saved me »
I didn't react. It became like an habit to her to say random stuffs like this. I didn't pay attention that much. But deep inside, and I don't know why, it kept on coming back in my head. Her thoughts. That she was telling aloud.
She suddenly get up and left to the edge of the rooftop. She's right, the sun would rise soon. I followed her silently enjoying every seconds.
As we arrived there, she sat down, her legs hanging in the emptiness below. As I looked at her, I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable with her position. However, I sat down next to her.
« You know I was waiting for you that night »
Again with her thoughts.
The sun rose little by little. She was smiling again. The light growing on her face. Her eyes were sparkling. As she was still smiling, she started crying. I was shocked and didn't know what to do. Not being good with words and thinking that she wouldn't have liked it anyway, I just held her hand tighter, making her feel my presence. She calm down a bit. Her sobs stopped but tears were still streaming down her face. Her smile looked kind of creepy now. Fake. I shook my head as she leaned her head on my shoulder.
« It's too late now »
The sun rose totally. A new day has begun. I turned my head to face her as I didn't feel the weight on my shoulder anymore.
She wasn't there. I looked around. Gone. I was alone. Alone on this rooftop. Alone with my legs hanging in the emptiness. Alone with my own thoughts.
Her thoughts. It wasn't her thoughts. It was mine. My conscience. The reality hit me.
That night. I couldn't come. She was waiting for me. I didn't come. Her body. Her blood. Everywhere. The emergency services. The cries of her mother.
Today was her funeral. I didn't want to go. Because going would mean that I accept her death. That it's really real. That she is gone for real.
Because of me.
I looked down. My legs were still hanging. I sighed. Closed my eyes. I imagined one last time, her smile, her eyes, her hands. Things that I would never be able to see again.
And I threw myself into her world.
Good morning Y/N.
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