Genre : Angst (inspired by Made of Stars) Summary : Hyunjin was made of stars and he was shining.
4am. Exhausted. Yet I couldn't sleep. I turned again and again on my bed, thinking about life, about Hyunjin. I needed fresh air.
I quietly left the house, making sure not to wake anyone's up. And I went to the beach. We went so many times there. I had good memories about that place. I remembered the last New Year's party. Our first kiss. Everything.
(Flashback)
« Hurry up Y/N, it's almost midnight ! »
I heard Jisung saying to me.
« I will be quick but we left the cool box down I need to get it »
Hyunjin followed me silently. When I arrived downstairs, he helped me holding it since it was a bit heavy. While going upstairs, we heard the others starting to count.
« 6...5...4... »
I started panicking as we were still far from the rooftop. As I wanted to abandon the cool box there to quickly go up with the others, Hyunjin prevented me from going anywhere by holding onto my arm. I looked back at him and I felt his lips on mine. Time stopped as our lips were moving in synchronization. I knew it was wrong, yet I couldn't bring myself to stop him.
« 2...1... HAPPY NEW YEAR !! »
(End of the flashback)
Once I arrived there, I quickly took off my shoes to feel the sand on my feet. I walked a bit and went closer to the sea. I sat in front. Breathed. The wind was caressing my face softly and the only noise heard was the sound of the waves. I felt relaxed. I didn't realize the tears that were streaming down my face. Where are you Hyunjin ?
5:43am. I should come back now.
——
I entered the house as quietly as possible and immediately went to my room. I saw the lights on through the closed door. Shit I'm screwed.
I slowly opened the door only to see Hyunjin sitting on my bed, his back facing me. He turned around at the noise and our gazes locked.
« What are you doing here Hyunjin it has been weeks since you left I thought yo— »
He cut me off by kissing me passionately. Oh how I missed him. The kiss was slow and beautiful. Our hands were traveling each other's body while our lips were never having enough of the other's ones. I felt him tensed when I touch some part of his back and arms. I kept that in mind, not wanting to end the kiss already.
After a while, we both pulled away, needing some air. We just stared at each other silently. I was scared that at any moment, he would disappear again and leave me forever. He looked beautiful. The feeble light made his eyes shine like they were made of stars. His hair was messy and his lips swollen after the previous making out. I took a look at his whole body for the first time. And that was when I saw it. The reason why he flinched. Bruises. Everywhere. Dark purple marks everywhere on his arms, neck and I guessed back and legs too.
He probably saw the changing in my eyes as he went closer to me and held my hand, as if he was trying to reassure me. I moved back, afraid. I didn't want to hurt him. Yet, I saw the pleading look in his eyes. They were begging me to stay. So I did.
I took off his shirt and analyzed his body. His pale skin was now replaced by a galaxy of blue and purple marks traveling all over his body. I touched his back slightly with my cold hands, not wanting to cause him any pain. I started tracing on his back with my finger, following his tattoo. The constellation. I felt him shiver so I quickly took the ointment and slowly put some on every bruise. When he turned around for me to do his chest and neck, I felt his gaze piercing me. I couldn't bring myself to look back so I simply went on with his treatment. He slowly put his hand under my chin, making me look up to stare into his beautiful eyes.
We stayed like this for a while. I didn't want to move. I wanted to keep on eye on Hyunjin forever. However after a while, he put his shirt back on and laid on my bed. As he mentioned me to lay next to him, I captured this scene in my head forever. Hyunjin being there, with me. I knew this was not going to last. I knew Hyunjin too well. He would leave. I wished I could protect him.
I laid down next to him and put my head on his chest, being caution not to hurt him. He played with my hair while I adjusted to his heartbeat. He turned off the lights, revealing the stars that we once stuck on my ceiling. They were shining brightly that night. And I would never forget it.
——
I woke up with a terrible headache. I slowly opened my eyes, adjusting to the light of the morning. And I remembered. Hyunjin.
I looked everywhere around me, and I knew it was hopeless. My eyes were watering. It quickly became sobbing. He left. Again.
And this time I felt like it was forever. I finally understood that reason of his coming the night before. He came to say farewell.
I stayed there, contemplating the stars on my ceiling, for hours. Remembering everything. I traced his constellation with my finger, in the air this time, wanting to remember how his skin felt against mine.
Will he survive ?
I cried more and more. Wanting him to be with me, even if it was a selfish thought. He had to escape, for his own good. Yet I couldn't bring myself to believe it. I wanted him here, in my arms. And I would have done everything to protect him, from any pain.
I suddenly remembered something. Hyunjin believed people were made of stars. Maybe, he left to meet his home again, his own star. And maybe, at that moment, I saw one special star on my ceiling shining brighter than the others. And maybe I would never forget it...
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« Dance with me like we are made of stars »
Hovi Star
••
This was inspired by my favorite book of all the time
