It's just what teenagers do. It's how they live so freely, and how they function. They're like a fire!
However, Teens are hotheads, over-grown, emotional wrecks, and they just don't think.
To truly see one crumble and fall apart under so much is ju...
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Everyday I lose myself more and more. It's like I lost sight of who I really was after the breakup. Bry was truly what held me together. I couldn't do shit for myself and I can't stand it. Is it okay to hate what you see when you look in the mirror? I've been hating who I see even more than I hate Carmelo. Last week at the dinner party, everybody got the chance to see who I really am. They all saw the part of me that I tried so desperately to hide. Yes I was apart of a gang. I made that decision years ago when I was in middle school. All of the comments made by my peers hat I'd never amount to nothing got to me. So I thought that since I would never be successful or anything like that, I should go ahead and Fuck up my life. Plus, I thought it was cool. It made me feel like somebody. It made me feel like I had an identity and I was an individual, and because I had so much power anyone who ever spoke down on me would fear me. That's kind of the reason behind why I'm "Mr. Popular"(and the fact that I'm apart of the starting 5 and lineup).
Ever since that big blow up happened last week I've been stuck at home. My mom didn't feel comfortable with me leaving after I told Melo I would kill him. Neither of my dads thought I should leave house due to them hearing that I was a blood. That night and the next day I got a mouthful from both sets of my parents. Roy and Nix even cursed me out. It was that bad. A knock on my bedroom door booted me from my thoughts. I groan. All I wanted was to be left alone for the rest of the summer. I get up from my bed to answer the door, but trip over a half full bottle of Hennessy. I kick it under my bed and out of sight. I scan the rest of my room to make sure it was presentable before opening the door.
"Hey sweetheart, I just wanted to know if you wanted to join your father and I for movie night. Like how you used to." My smiled all cheery and what not. I lightly roll my eyes. I didn't want any parts of movie night.
"No thanks, ma. Maybe Roy feels up to it. "I say. Her smile visibly drops and it makes me feel bad.
"Roy is out with Phoenix right now. Eva and Robert dropped them off at that new water park. "
I sighed. "Not this time, ma. I've got a lot on my mind right now."
"Do you wanna talk about it? I feel like we barely communicate anymore. I really don't even recognize you anymore , Pookie." She says. I cringed at her calling me pookie. It was a nickname she's always given me but I've outgrown that.
"I'm too old for you to be calling me pookie. "
"You'll always be little pookie. C'mon now. Talk to me. "She took a seat on my bed as patted for me to sit beside her. I walk over to my bed and sit beside her. As I've always done, I rest my head on her shoulder as she engulfed me in a big, warm hug.
"I just feel like y'all don't know who I am anymore. I don't even know who I am."
"What do you mean? You're my baby boy. We all know who you are Rylan. "
