Reece's Haven

2

"I wish I was colourblind because I see shades of you when I don't want to..."
– Nautica

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~ D O R O T H Y ~

October 1997

From the balcony, I stare at the orphan girls playing badminton on the grass. Laughter erupts when one of them trips over an acorn and falls onto the ground. I would have laughed too if it were not for today's shocking revelation.

Mother is coming this Saturday to take me back to London.

The sun is setting and a cool breeze blows through my brown hair. While I stare blankly at the scenic view of open-spaced farmland with trees scattered everywhere, unhappy memories from seven years ago dominate my mind.

The pain. The misery. The despair.

I promised myself to forget that woman and the life that I had before being abandoned here. I actually did abide by that promise, but it was not easy. I cried. I screamed. I gave up hundreds of times. But eventually, I managed to lock away the memories and the feelings associated with them.

Until today.

'Why mummy? Why?' a younger version of my voice croaks in my mind. 'Why did you leave me here? I love you... I thought you loved me too...'

Images of drenched pillows, barely touched food and reflections of a younger, scrawny version of myself in the mirror flash in my head.

"Dorothy dear," Sister Alexa's voice pulls me back to reality.

I blink before I notice that Sister Alexa is sitting on a chair next to mine. I did not realise that she came here. She places her warm hand over mine and shoots me a small smile in an attempt to comfort me. I look away from her, down at the orphan girls.

"How lucky those girls are," I say.

Sister Alexa glances at the young girls before she shakes her head.

"My dear, you should be grateful that your mother is even alive. Those poor girls have no one, not even a mother."

"At least they know that they were wanted by their mother," I say. "At least they know that if their parents were still alive today, they would have been loved by them. They would have been kept by them in a warm, loving home."

Sister Alexa makes me face her. Her warm, brown eyes soften.

"No, do not look at it this way, Dorothy. If your mother does not want you, then why is she coming all the way from London to take you back?"

"That is what's bothering me," I say. "She has neglected me for seven years, Sister Alexa. Seven long years. I don't understand why she's coming now. It appears as if... as if she suddenly remembers that she has a daughter."

"She may have her reasons," she suggests.

"What reasons?" I scoff, facing the other way. "I told myself that I will forget the past, and I did. But now... my mother is coming for me. I can't face her. She..."

An image of her comes into my head and my eyes sting. I cannot even remember her face clearly.

"I hate that woman so, so much," I say through gritted teeth. "My blood boils at the thought of her. She betrayed me. She abandoned me! She is no mother of mine. That woman is dead to me."