Reece's Haven

35

"I wish you can see me the way I see you..."
– Nautica

❀❀❀

~ D O R O T H Y ~

January 1998

Stupid stupid Reece Walker!

I shift in my bed, waiting for sleep to take over me. But alas, it does not come.

Images of Reece's sleeping face flash in my mind instead. How his dark brown hair covers most of his forehead, and partially his closed eyes. How there's a small crease between his naturally perfect eyebrows. How his long eyelashes are the envy of every girl out there. How he looks so innocent, peaceful and... beautiful.

My heart yearns for me to have my hands play with his silky hair, to hear him talk all day long, to go on walks with him, to eat with him... to be with him.

And I don't understand why!

And when he invited me to continue to sleep next to him...

Turning red, I cover my face with my duvet.

Gosh...

What is wrong with him?

What is wrong with me?

Why do I react like this?

Frustrated, I sit up and switch on the lamp on my bedside table. Opposite me, on my study desk, sits my old ursine friend. It stares at me with its beady eyes, inviting me towards it. I comply.

When I slump onto the desk chair, I pick up the stuffed toy.

"Lukey Wukey," I groan. "Why can't I stop thinking about him?"

I bring it close to my nose and take a whiff. The familiar scent of spicy, mist forest after rain calms my nerves.

"You smell just like him..." I mumble, closing my eyes and burying my nose further into its belly.

Images of our childhood now emerge in my head, making me nostalgic. The warm summer days that we spent in my small inflatable pool, the golden autumn days that we spent in my treehouse, the freezing winter days that we spent inside my house, and the colourful spring days that we spent in the forest in our neighbourhood.

If we had known seven years ago that this is what our future would turn out to be, we would have not believed it. Here we both are, survivors of our dark pasts with unpleasant scars that will forever remind us of what we went through without each other. But underneath Reece's tough facade, I see his younger self, which emerges once in a while, as if it were dormant and is now awakening, slowly.

I don't know exactly how much you've changed in the last seven years, but I feel like I still know you. You are still the Dorothy that I remember. You just have these walls built up around you...

Just like how I see little Reece in him, I guess Reece sees the little Dorothy in me.

It comforts me to know that we both noticed this of each other.

But what comforts me more is the fact that Reece understands me. Almost as if how Sister Alexa understands me. That I had to move on and be strong so that no one can take advantage of even my smallest weakness and hurt me.

Carrying Lukey Wukey, I head back to my bed, snuggle underneath my duvet and switch off the lamp. I bring the teddy bear close to my face and shut my eyes. With Reece's soothing scent enveloping my senses, I start to feel drowsy. The aroma is so comforting that sleep somehow manages to take over me and pleasant dreams of my childhood with Reece entertain me for the rest of the night.