Lost And Found ✔︎

55- Promise-Breaking Virgins

"Let me assure you, with our increased security, Good Faith has never been safer. And those people who have gone missing, well, they are front and center in our prayers." Bonnie reminds.

"What a relief. Now, you must have been, uh, close to them." Dean guesses.

"Well, we do share the A.P.U. bond."

"The A.P.U."?" I ask.

" Our chastity group... "Abstinence Purifies Us."

"Oh. W-wow. You mind if we sit in on that, maybe see if it's for us?

"I'm afraid it's members only. I'm sorry, but it can get pretty personal."

"Then count us in." Sam admits.

"Well. I'll be a squirrel in a skirt. I'll be back in a jiff with the papers."

She leaves and we see her outside the office pulling papers from a large filing cabinet.

"A chastity group?" Dean asks.

" Dean, listen, if all the members were in A.P.U., then maybe whatever took them is stalking virgins." Sam guesses.

"And that Slim guy said he thought he saw fire. So, what are you thinking, dragons?"

"Mm. [Sam looks up to see her returning.] Shh."

"All righty. [She hands both of the boys clipboards.] You can just sign there, and your purification can begin." She says in a happy voice.

"[reading] "Purity pledge"?"

"It's a commitment to your virginity."

"I don't think we can really un-ring that bell. You know what I mean?

"[A little taken aback] Oh. I see. Well... If you just ask for God's forgiveness for your sins and make a new vow of chastity, well, then, you'll be born again as a virgin in his eyes." She figured.

"So, you just hit the "virginity do-over" button, and all is good with the man upstairs?" Dream figure.

"[Looking shocked] It's not a button. And...this isn't just a piece of paper. I mean, this is your clean slate, your chance to be a virgin until marriage."

"Well, you had me at "clean slate" Let's do this."

Dean and then Sam both sign their real names to the bottom of their purity pledges. They then hand them back to Bonnie.

"Congratulations, Sam and Dean Winchester. You are both virgins."

***

"Hey."

"How was church?" Jody asks.

"Well, it turned into confessional. Apparently, two of our vics, Honor and Pastor Fred, did the dirty." I admit.

"Oh, well. They're not the only ones. Barb Blanton, our missing bride to be -"

"Yeah?"

"Her mom said she heard Barb and her fiancé in Barb's bedroom."

"Going at it?"

"Well, she said she heard sex noises, then Barb crying, then Neil telling Barb it didn't count because it was under 30 seconds. And then, two hours later, she heard a smash and saw a flash of light under the door."

"Blue light?" Sam asks.

"[nods] You know, I'm thinking whatever this thing is, it's not going after virgins, even born-again virgins." Jody figures.