The Younger Girl

Chapter 34

Collae POV

"What the fuck are you doing here?"I huffed. Theo had the audacity to show up at my window again,"It's almost midnight, I have school in the morning, and so do you," I started to shut the window but he put his hand underneath it. Theo was stronger than me by far but that didn't stop me from trying to smack his fingers in the window seal.

"Please Collae I just wanted to see you," he sighed. Theo hadn't been looking the best lately. Dark circles, ruffled hair, red knuckes, it was clear he'd been beating himself over this. Served him right. He treated me horribly over the last month.

"You can see me fine, I'm okay...now go,"I hissed. I couldn't let him back to me without working for it. He intentionally hurt me with another girl and it's been hard to look past it. I know we were broken up but the fact that he did it out of spite is what I can't get over.

"Do you think we could hang out for a little...?" he shrugged. I truly didn't think that Theo knew what space was. I figured that maybe it's because he grew up with a big family he didn't know how to give space. You would think he would understand what it's like to want to be alone.

"Theo, I don't understand what's wrong with you. Are you like crazy? I would rather not have these traits pass to the baby," I said truthfully, I had hoped this child wouldn't grow to be this obsessive.

"I don't know what it is," he looked me in my eyes, "I just really miss you, and I want to make things right." It was hard to know if Theo meant his words or not. I missed Theo as well but he'd have to really make me believe he's sorry for what he'd done for me to even consider a second chance.

Of course I wanted my baby to grow up with both parents present and maybe in the future me and Theo would work this out but right now I couldn't see past the pain I endured.

Knowing what Theo could do out of anger scared me. I didn't trust him anymore. Let's say we got into a bad fight again and he runs off with another woman to spite me? I couldn't think about that. I'm only sixteen dealing with all of this, I should've been more smarter.

"Look Theo, I don't know if I could ever trust you again after the bullshit with Gia."

"Collae I told you Gia didn't mean shit to me, I was using her to stop thinking about you, I was so angry about you being with Harrison, I was acting like a child, Collae, and I'll forever be sorry for putting you through this," His hand caressed mine and as much as I wanted to pull away I missed just a small touch from him.

Theo made me feel like I was the most beautiful girl. The most special. That all changed the day I told him I was pregnant and after the championship party. I felt like a girl being thrown to the side. I felt like a used rag. It was a feeling I could never have again. I don't think I could handle it.

"Theo..." I croaked out, "You really hurt me, I'm not going to be ready for anything with you right now. I need time okay?" He nodded in defeat. He slowly slid his hands from my window.

"I understand, I'll give you some space, I'm willing to wait for you little flower, and when you are ready I'll make sure to take better care of you this time around," He sniffled and turned on his heels to walk through the gate. I had the urge to so badly tell him to come back but I knew I needed to be strong. I needed to make it a point to him that I wasn't joking.

I wouldn't allow him to play with my heart. I needed to feel for sure that he wouldn't hurt me again, and right now I couldn't see it.
~~~

"So he came by again?" Kaitlyn scoffed at lunch, "Why do you keep allowing him this access to you Collae?"

"Kait, I'm not you don't understand he literally just shows up," I laughed.

"And that crazy Collae a normal person would call the police and initiate a fucking restraining order..." she stared deeply into my eyes like I was the crazy one, "Like this isn't okay."

"I know, I know. He came to apologize and saying he wants to make things right and his the Gia bullshit was nothing yada yada yada," I opened a bag of lays chips.

"Lae you know I love you but Theo is full of shit," she hissed, "He literally love bombed the fuck out of you, abandoned you, and kissed the school thot, he's not a good guy, and let's not forget the anger management, I used to think he was a pretty decent guy but now that I see the truth, you need to cut him out your life. I know that's the baby's father but he doesn't need to be apart of your love life anymore, I say this with love." Everything she said was true. If that was the case why couldn't I shake away the thoughts of us possibly working things out in the future .

"I know Kait, I didn't plan on getting back together with him, I told him I need time..."

"Time? Collae be for real," she laughed, "He's eighteen he's practically grown into who he's going to be for the rest of his life, it's better to just fully escape now and let someone else deal with that crazy ass man."

"Kaitlyn I can't think straight forward like that right now, I have to think of the baby," I huffed, "I don't want to talk about this anymore, I just wanna eat okay?"

"Fine, but you need to feed my nephew something better than chips," She snatched the bag away from me and handed me her meatball sub.

"But I don't want this..." I pouted.

"Collae I'm not going to argue with you, eat that sub," She looked down at the sub than to me. Kaitlyn acted like such a mother to me sometimes. I don't know what I would do without her by my side.

"How are you getting home today? Bus?" She asked, lately I had been ubering just because I didn't feel like walking home in the cold from the bus stop.

"Harrison offered me this morning," I took a bite of the sub.

"Harrison? Collae what?" she deadpanned. I could tell she was judging pretty hard. Harrison had been oddly nice to me lately and we started to get close. He invited me to a small party this weekend, I agreed to go and Theo wouldn't possibly be there because this party was with his friends outside of the basketball team. Harrison's group of friends were less diverse than Theos.

"What? He's nice, we're just friends," I couldn't tell her about the kiss, me and Harrison haven't brought it up either. I think we were both on the same page to just forget about it.

"Collae I hope you're making good decisions," she crossed her arms.

"Everything is fine, you're overthinking."

~~~