The Younger Girl

Chapter 40

Theo POV

I wish Collae had came with me on my tour but it was a sensitive time for her. I didn't want to force her into anything she didn't want to do with me. Just being around me seemed to erk her a little so I still wanted to continue giving her some space.

She wanted to talk today, I wasn't too sure what it would've been about other than the future of our relationship. I hoped and hoped that she would see me in her future and not just the baby.

I couldn't imagine parenting with her and not being able to kiss her and hold our baby.

Collae was too beautiful and good for me. I hoped that she'd give me another chance to prove I'm not an image of my past mistakes with her. I wanted to show her that I'd change for her and our future family.

Going to college away from her and being a full time student athlete was going to be hard but I had to make sacrifices if I wanted the baby in my life. Who am I to abandon the two of them while I'm off enjoying college while Collae is taking care of herself and the baby alone. It would be too selfish.

I drove to Collaes house to pick her up and take her to a bar and grill. She really enjoyed burgers and her cravings have been heightened so I thought I'd treat her.

I texted her that I was outside and she shortly came out telling her nana bye in the process. Her nana was still on the outs with me which was one hundred percent understandable.

"Hi beautiful," I stood outside the passenger door and opened it for her to enter the car. I lopped back around the car after closing her door.

"Hi Theodore," She rolled her eyes a little playfully before buckling her seatbelt. I knew that I still had some sort of effect on her because she was looking away as usual when I complimented her.

"How was your weekend?" I asked.

"It was fine didn't do much, just stayed home mostly," She shrugged. She was keeping things short and simple, "Where are we going?"

"This burger spot, you'll love it," I smiled at her. She smirked subtly.

"You know I love burgers," She smiled.

"Yep, well done and nasty," I scrunched my face up at her favorite temperature. If it was long medium rare to medium it wasn't good.

"Well done because I don't want my shit mooing," She scoffed.

"Well it's definitely dead and dry, takes out all the juice, and if it's not juicy I don't want it," I could feel her rolling her eyes at my double meaning statement.

"Whatever, I'm starving I can't wait to eat," she clasped her hands together excitedly. I loved seeing her smile with me. After things have been going I was afraid she wouldn't smile as much anymore.

~~~

After ordering our burgers we had to wait a while for them. The place was a bit busy and they weren't known for getting food out that fast. Another reason I bought her here, more time for us to talk but she wasn't budging past small talk.

"Collae what did you want to talk about amour?" I finally decided to break the ice because I knew she wanted to have a conversation and I was eager to find out what she wanted to chat about.

"Us," She sighed, "I've been pretty anxious about it."

"What about us?"

"Just the fact that I still want to be together at some point but it's been a lot for me to deal with emotionally from the baby to the breakup to the bull shit with Harrison, I've been going through a lot, and it's just like I don't know how you'll be able to deal with what's coming with me," she looked down at the table.

"Collae look at me," I said sternly, he eyes slowly rose to mine a bit glossy, "Everything that's happened is my fault it's not your baggage to carry it's mine, I have to deal with this, and don't think it's only because of the baby, it's because I love you Collae, I've loved you since I fell into you, I guess you could say I fell for you," we both laughed at my very corny joke, "There's nothing more I want then to be with you, I don't care how long it takes for you to trust me, what coping you have to do, just know that I won't be going anywhere."

"What about college Theo? You'll barely be able to come home..."

"I'm going to figure everything out, I really don't want you stressing out about that okay? I'm not leaving for another five months okay, and I will be there for your delivery don't worry okay baby?" The baby slipped but it didn't seem to bother her much. It was almost like she missed me calling her that but no words she spoke would've let me think that.

"I'm scared Theo, what if this doesn't work out, I don't want to be a stigma, this is a lot," she shook her head.

"Are you having second thoughts about us? Or...the baby...?" I didn't want to ask her but it seemed like Collae was really conflicted in her next steps.

"Theo I haven't said this to anyone but I don't think I'm ready for this," She blurted, "I thought that I could handle this and be strong but a baby and I haven't finished school yet? I don't know what lies ahead for me honestly, I don't want this baby to be my life right now you know? Is that selfish of me? I'm so sorry I put you through this wow, fuck I shouldn't have said anything."

I was gagged for words. Collae was so sure a while back that this is what she wanted. It was too late to
get an abortion. I felt for her. I had no idea what she was going through. I wasn't carrying the baby, it wasn't me who had to finish out high school with a baby. I never wanted a baby right now and Collae bashed me for this when we broke up. I guess only now she is feeling overwhelmed.

"Collae it's too late to make any decisions , and I've told you, I'm here to help," I reached for her hand and she pulled back disheartening me.

"Theo it's time for us to get real and stop being fucking delusional, you are going to college to play division one basketball, youll have games like every 3 days and practice everyday, you will not be here to help me, oh my God I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do," she cried.

I was convinced that she was going through a lot emotionally right now and her hormones were through the roof, she was way too confident about having this baby to switch up like this.

"Collae, I mean this with my whole heart, I am going to figure it out for us, please don't stress about it," I reached back to her again and this time she let me grab her soft palms.

"It's just hard Theo," I wiped her tears as I stood up to sit next to her in the secluded booth.

"I couldn't imagine what you're going through right now cauliflower but I can promise you, I will be here right by your side to help you through this," we looked into each others eyes and that sparkle that I missed so much was there again. She nuzzled into my neck and her aroma of coconut and vanilla scent filled my nose.

"Please Theo, don't hurt me again," she sniffled, "I can't take anything else."

"I told you will always have a place in my heart, I won't hurt you again," I kissed the top of her forehead while rubbing her palms. She moved away from the crook of my neck and we were back looking into each others eyes once more.

It was like all of our issues left us for a moment and all I wanted to do was plant my lips on hers but I couldn't without permission. I couldn't read what her next move would be until her eyes slowly closed and she pressed her lips against mine. I was shocked by this, I tensed and quickly calmed down before closing my eyes and kissing her back.

I was craving her, I was craving this kiss, her touch, everything. Just her finally opening up to me again was something I craved from her. I hated that I made her feel that she couldn't trust me anymore. She was my light in my world and I couldn't imagine it without her. Call it young and stupid love but how I felt about her wasn't stupid at all.

We never deepened the kiss or entered each other's mouths, this kiss was soft and catering, a longing for kiss but innocent. I pulled back placing a long kiss on her cheek and she smiled from ear to ear laughing a bit.

"Okay we have a well done bacon cheese burger and a mid rare cheddar burger," Our server cleared her throat looking a bit uncomfortable before dropping our plates off. I always told myself that I wouldn't be one of those couples who kiss at a restaurant but here I am.