• p e r f u m e •

24. e p i l o g u e

Bella

It took all of me. It took everything in me to take this decision. And most of my friends say I shouldn't have turned back and given him another chance but I knew that if I wouldn't have, then not only would I live a miserable life but I would've deprived my little baby girl of having her father with her.

But isn't life all about trails and errors. Doesn't everything go wrong at some point?

But we all have that one person in our lives for whom we have a world full of chances. Not because they have a control on you or you're letting them own you. But just because you love them so much that you know you'd be a mess without them.

So you go ahead, step on your own heart, forget all the tears you've shed and all the pain the person has given and say "it's alright baby."

I'm going to be honest, when I decided to start again with Justin, I was scared. So scared of the history repeating itself again. For the first couple months even though he was doing nothing wrong and was by my side every second of the day, I was paranoid.

And he knew it. He sensed my discomfort and he understood. He knew he had to give me time and put in efforts to earn my trust again. He knew we had a lot of healing to go through and that wasn't going to happen overnight.

But he was there with me through my entire pregnancy. Cooking whatever I felt like eating, holding my hair back as I threw up almost every morning. He'd slip a hot water bag under my back after I'd fall asleep on the couch. He'd talk to my stomach for hours and hours. And towards the last two months, he even stopped going to work and worked from home so he could be around me all the time.

And it's funny how all that made it so much easier for me to forget the mistakes he made. I've always known he loves me even when he's kissed another girl in front of me and neglected me because of her. I knew he wasn't lying when he told me he regrets everything he's done.

I can never forget the night Julia was born. I can never forget how Justin hugged the tiny little ball of happiness the moment the nurse handed her to him and how he sobbed his heart out in front of everything. 

He cried for an entire hour.

Today marks one month since Justin and I got married again. Our little Julia is now four months old and already a daddy's girl.

Justin hasn't gone a day since she's been born without spoiling her and showering her with all his love. Work always comes after Julia and I for him. There hasn't been a single moment when me or Julia needed him and he wasn't around.

And I don't just know it but I'm sure with everything in me that I made the right decision of re-starting with Justin. I don't remember us being this happy ever before.

Yes I do have my days sometimes where I wonder and for a moment I freeze thinking what if it happens again. But then I hear Julia's giggles that light up the entire house and see Justin doing everything he can just make her laugh and all my doubts wash away.

I snapped out of my chain of thoughts when I heard Julia cry and Justin brought her inside the kitchen while trying to bounce her in his arms to calm her.

"Mommy I think I'm hungry" He said and I chuckled.

"The bottle is on the counter" I said and he picked up the bottle and started feeding her. He let out a loud sigh after she started chugging on the bottle and stopped crying.