Starting New - Xxxtentacion

Chapter 10 - Kill4U

Lil Skies My Ki: can we keep talking
Lil Skies My Ki: please stas we can go back inside
Lil Skies My Ki: I just saw you look at your phone and ignore me b come on

Me: no

Lil Skies My Ki: why

Me: ki

Lil Skies My Ki: please

Me: fine
Me: I'll meet you inside
___

I showed Faith the text messages then stood up.

"Good luck" Faith said to me quietly. I nodded and turned around to see Ki walk inside. Xavier and Stokeley look at me as they stay standing where they are. They were just standing with Ki before he walked inside.

"What were you two talking about?" Xavier asked me as I got to them.

"Just things" I told them. I tried to walk past them, but Xavier stopped me.

"Y'all were fighting"

"About past shit. It's fine" I said and walked past him into the house. I didn't see him in the living room so I walked into the kitchen and saw him leaning against the counter. He looked up at me. I can tell he's really upset. But I didn't think he'd be this upset. Why? I sat up on the counter and just stared at him waiting for him to talk.

"I don't like fighting with you" he said. He walked over to me and stood in front of me. "You used to be the only person I would go to when I was pissed or upset about something. You were the only person I could really trust with shit that was deep and personal." I sighed and looked down. "The only person"

He's making me feel like shit. I distanced myself because I know that the second he got a girlfriend, I would be so upset. I knew it was coming because he's hot as fuck and sweet, any girl would be lucky to be with him.

"I thought I did something wrong or something that hurt you. I wouldn't ever wanna do that, Stas. I would have done anything for you. I still would. I still would kill for you. You mean a lot to me. You always have" He told me. He lifted my head with his thumb making me look him in the eyes. Now he's really close to me. He stepped even closer and his other hand went on my thigh. He moved his hand from my chin to my jaw cupping my face. His thumb caressed my cheek.

"Ki" I went to continue talking, but I couldn't say anything. Even before I could, his lips pressed against mine. For some reason I kissed back. I heard the back door slid open so I pushed him away.

"What?" He asked confused.

"We ain't doing this" I said and got off the counter.

"Come on Stas" As soon as I walked out of the kitchen I bumped into someone. Jahseh.

"Woah" Jah said with a laugh. I didn't say anything back as I walked past him.

"Stas!" I heard Ki say. I turned around and his eyes widened a little. "You crying?" I didn't even realize I had some tears. I wiped them quickly and shook my head. I saw Jahseh standing behind him looking at us confused.

"You don't get to do this Ki" I said to him quietly. "I got over it"

"Maybe I didn't" he said as he walked closer to me.

"Maybe you should" I told him. I can tell he's hurt. "Don't you think it hurts me too?" I added. He went to talk, but then shut his mouth. I turned around to walk away.

"Stas please" I heard him say. I stopped and turned around to look at him. "Let me just say everything I have to say then we can move on from the conversation" he begged. I sighed and nodded.

"I'll meet you in my room" I told him then walked past him into the kitchen. "Hi" I said to Jahseh as I grabbed a water bottle.

"Is there something going on between y'all?" I heard him ask me. I faced him.

"No. We used to be like best friends, but now we ain't so we've been talking about it" I told him. I didn't want to tell him the whole truth. He nodded. "I'll be back outside in a little" I said before walking upset. As I walked into my room I saw Ki was sitting on my bed. I sat down next to him and sighed. "Listen Ki, you never did anything wrong. I just figured that if we weren't as close then maybe it wouldn't bother me as much. Because chilling with you all day every day sometimes made my feelings for you stronger. I didn't want that. I knew when you would get a girlfriend, it would hurt me" I explained to him.

"Is that why we barely hung out when I dated Dani?" He asked. I nodded making him sigh. "I'm sorry Stas. You should've told me. I didn't think of it especially when you dated Trevon, nothing changed with us. When that nigga hurt you, that shit hurt me. I remember that day you came to my house crying and I ain't never seen you cry that bad. I broke up with Dani because I realized I had feelings for you. But I never did anything about it because y'all just broke up and I didn't wanna make shit worse for you" he told me. I nodded understanding. Again he leaned in and I felt his lips against mine. I felt no feelings. They are all gone. I pulled away slowly and sighed.

"Ki I" I stopped and took a deep breath. "I don't have those feelings anymore" I told him quietly. He looked away and shook his head. He stood up so I did also and I grabbed his arm. He looked down at me. "You mean so much to me. But friends is the best choice" I said. He nodded.

"Is it because of X?" He asked. I moved my arm and looked at him confused.

"W-what?"

"Ion it just seems like somethings going on between you and him" he told me. I shook my head.

"No we're just friends" I said. That's the second time it was said today.

"Ight. Let's just go back outside" I followed him down stairs and back outside. I kept my head down. I sat between Faith and Ski. I wanna be alone.