Starting New - Xxxtentacion

Chapter 17 - Over Thinking Everything

"Can I come in?" I heard Jahsehs voice. I stood up quickly and looked over at my door. He scared me since it was so quiet in here. I'm not sure why it was. I was going through my clothes and hanging them up in the closet. I nodded and tucked my hair behind my ear. "Were your parents home when you got there?" He asked me. I shook my head as I leaned against the door frame of my closet. He sat down on my bed.

"No one was home. I left my key on kitchen table and the guys helped me get everything. I left some things there, but it was shit I didn't need" I told him.

"Oh that's good. Did you guys go shopping?" He asked.

"Nah. Well for more hangers" I answered him and he nodded. It grew silent as I stared back at him.

"You've been weird with me, why?" He asked me. I could tell he was bothered by it. I sighed.

"I don't mean to be. My bad" I looked down at my feet. "Are you and your ex, that was here yesterday, getting back together?" I asked looking back up at him. He shook his head.

"No. She just showed up randomly. She needed to talk to me about something. She needed guidance" he explained to me. I took a deep breath. Again, I over think everything. I nodded slowly. "Why did you think that?"

"Because when you looked at her, you looked like you were in love" I told him and again he shook his head.

"I'm not in love with her. Anymore. But I will always love her as a person. She hurt me. She put me through a hell of a lot of pain. She embarrassed me. She put out lies about me. But through all that, my love for her has not gone away as I wish it just would. But I am no longer in love. Although she hurt me, I am still here to help her when needed even if she won't do the same for me" he explained to me.

"You're a good person Jah" I said back quietly. Every day I find another reason to believe how he is such an amazing person.

"Thank you" He said back nodding. "I saw you were sitting on Skies yesterday. You guys looked very... cuddly" he said with a chuckle. I shrugged.

"There wasn't another seat so I just sat on him. I used to all the time when we were close. Plus, since I over analyze every single possible thing, I thought you would get back with your ex so it wouldn't matter" I told him and he laughed. "I'm being serious" He stood up and started walking over to me.

"I know" he said and stood in front of me. "We good?" I nodded.

"We good" I smiled as he did also.

"Ima help you with all these clothes. You got too many. You'll be here all day" he said walking into my closet. I laughed and shook my head. I watched as he picked up a hanger and one of my shirts. I smiled to myself and started to hang my clothes also. I'm glad we're okay.

"So I never asked how you and Stokeley met" I mentioned. He started to laugh.

"We met in jail" he told me. I looked over at him with my eyes widened and laughed.

"I thought y'all grew up together" I said confused. He shook his head.

"Well we were young. I was like 16 maybe, but we didn't grow up together"

"Damn" I said with a laugh. "What were you guys in jail for?" I asked.

"Ski was in jail for a few things like selling weed and shit like that. I was there for mad things. Way too many to list right now" he said with a chuckle. "You wouldn't wanna know anyway. I fucked up and it's just not good things" he told me. I nodded and continued to hang up my clothes. "So you used to fight? You know since that's how you guys met" he asked.

"I guess. Only when bitches were starting it. I never started one. Them bitches would be petty" I told him and we both laughed. "I've seen you fight. I bet you fought everyone testing you" I said making him laugh and nod.

"Yeah. I used to fight niggas all the time cause they were testing me. Always saying some dumb rude shit. Both my hands are broken because I was fighting way too much" he told me.

"Damn" I said back. I groaned and sat on the floor. "I don't wanna do this anymore" I complained and leaned against the wall.

"Oh you wanna be singing my songs now?" He joked laughing as he sat down too. I picked up a sweatshirt and threw it at him.

"Shut up" I mumbled and pulled out my phone.

"We just started"

"I know, but I'm tired from being out all day. I didn't sleep a lot last night then Stokeley and Isaiah woke me up this morning by smacking me with a pillow" I told him.

"Why didn't you sleep?" He asked. I shrugged.

"I had anxiety. I was fine though" I said back and looked down at my phone. I saw I never texted Ki back last morning so I did saying, 'hey' back. I put my phone back on the floor then laid down on the pile of clothes on the floor. "I wanna nap" I complained and I heard him laugh.

"Then sleep and finish this later" I heard him say. I picked up my head and saw he stood up. He held his hand out for me so I grabbed my phone and my water bottle then grabbed his hand. I started walking to my bed, but he stopped me by wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. "Let me join" he mumbled into my ear. I got the chills and put my hands on his hands.

"Ight" I agreed. He kissed my cheek then let go of me. He laid on my bed before me as I put my hair up in a bun. I laid down on my side facing him. He was laying on his back looking at his phone.

"You gonna be home tomorrow?" He asked me as he looked over at me. Home. I could get used to that. It does feel like home.

"Yeah why?"

"My moms coming here tomorrow so I was just wondering" he told me then looked back at his phone. So I could possibly meet his mom tomorrow. Why am I nervous about that?