4.The Serpent's Caster (ManxBoy)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Linus

I realise my reliefs was short lived as Gabriel walked around me and passed me, bumping my shoulder. I turned and grabbed his wrist but he yanked my hand off of it.

"Gabriel," I said begging and he slapped me. I inhaled sharply at the stinging on my cheek.

"No," he said simply, "no." He repeated and I knee he was protesting my unspoken apology. He was mad, in fact, he probably hated me right now.

"Please! I can explain!" He paused and turned to me, his eyes flashing gold.

"Explain? There is nothing to explain,Linus." He said, his arms over his chest defensively. "You left me there, alone, weak." He said this so softly that it hurt me, "I watched you run away... You didn't even turn back."

"I'm sorry."

"You don't get to apologize, Linus." He sniffed then and I realised that I too had been crying. Gabriel was alive and as happy as that made me, I hated myself for bringing him pain. "I thought we were friends,Linus, I really did. I thought we would be in it together but no, like the selfish little asshole you are, you chose yourself. You will always choose yourself." I felt my nostrils flare and I took the insult, I didn't try to hide it or deny it because there was no point not with Gabriel, what he thought of believed in, nothing and nobody could get him to stop.

"But your safe, and...that's what matters." He took steps closer to me then, his eyes gold.

"Safe? For how long exactly?" I felt my brain begin to throb, it felt like a knife  was slicing through me, back and forth and blood dripped from my nose as I fell to my knees. I didn't fight back. "What's the point of safety anyway? When your all alone in this big world, why does it matter when you don't even have friends you can count on? A family you can run too?"

I held back a scream, and bit my tongue as I held my head.

"Please," I gasped as the pain wore off, becoming a dull ache and suddenly arms were wrapped around me and I heard hissing.

"Look at you," Gabriel said in anger, "you even have someone coming to your aid." I sniffed and breathed through my mouth as I tried to even my breathing and clear out my vision. "You should quit while you ahead, sir," he spat, "he would leave you to die if it meant he could see another day."

"Linus?" I looked up and focused on Fraden, I smiled sadly as I let the hurt I'd been bottling up east away at me. I stumbled to my feet, holding onto Fraden. I buried my head in his chest and sobbed as quietly as I could. "Let's get you out of here."

He lead me to the car and gave me water and tissues. I hadn't been much help so he had to go back to pau for the groceries and come back, packing them in while I sat there, staring at my own hateful reflection.

Gabriel was all I could see. His words cut through me like a knife and I wanted more than anything to do. As the tears fell silently, I recalled my nightmares which composed of my mothers dead corpse right next to my sisters. Recently, Gabriel's corpse was beside them as well and each death had been my own fault.

Fraden hadn't asked me anything as he drove a lot faster on the way home. I felt him glance at me every now and then until we were in the garage. I didn't move, I didn't want to move.

"Linus?" His voice was so tender, it called to me, every bone in my body told me to go to him, to get into his lap and just have him hold me, but I didn't, I fought against this crazy urge and allowed myself to be the ball of misery I had been hiding from. "What happened back there?" I sniffed and turned my head to the front of the car, stating at the oddly dirty window.

"That was Gabriel, he was the closest thing I had to a best friend while I lived with the herd and he hates me." I undid my seat belt, I grabbed the car door and opened it when a hand grabbed me.

"Why didn't you fight back?" I sighed.

"I couldn't," I whispered and looked to Fraden who narrowed his eyes, my own watered some more. "I couldn't hurt him anymore than I have already," I felt a sob leave me then and I couldn't hold it back or make it quiet. I found myself curling into myself when I was grabbed and thick dark arms wrapped around me. I cried harder then because I didn't even deserve this embrace, that comfort was a luxury I had done nothing to deserve. "First, I promised to have his back on the battlefield and I fail, then we get captured and I leave him to rot while I run for my life. He has every right to hate me, I hate myself just as much, if not more."

"Linus," Fraden sighed as I dug my face into the crock of his neck and cried. I had been keeping my composure ever since I met Fraden, I had been keeping my true thoughts and feelings at bay because I've never been the type to deal with my own problems. Seeing Gabriel... It drove me passed my breaking point and I didn't know what to do besides cry. "It's alright," I pushed against him.

"No, its not!" I struggled to open the door and get out. I fell to the ground and hurriedly tried to get up. Fraden helped and I yelped in pain. I twisted my ankle. "No!" I screamed at him as pain consumed me.

Flashes of my dead mother and sister played in my mind. I saw their corpses and I saw myself take their lives to sate my own hunger for more strength strength I seemed to only get from those around me. I saw myself get so into it that I left Gabriel, who was already looking weak and struggling, defenseless. That was when they struck. I remembered the scream he let out as they injected him. I was a second too late as they injected me while I looked at Gabriel.

I was a monster, a disgusting murderer who deserved nothing better in life than death.

"Linus, breathe,please." Fraden said worriedly, I stood to my full height, limping from the strain in my right foot.

"Why?" I asked him as my heart felt like someone was ripping it into a thousand pieces. "I don't deserve to breath, Fraden, I deserve to die!" I yelled.

"I should have died in that cage! I should have allowed myself to rot beside him! I told him I loved him, for God's sake!" I sobbed and fell to the ground, grabbing a fist full of my hair. "I told him...I confessed and I just... I just left!" I began to hyperventilate. "My mother!" I screamed and the lights in the garage all gave out, sparking and breaking. "My sister!"

My eyes I could feel them glowing, I saw them reflect a flowing purple in Fraden's calm yet worried eyes.

"Linus!" He yelled at me. "You're going to wear yourself out!" He told me as the wind picked up around us. I was panting and crying and I was a huge mess. A mess that wanted more than ever to die. "Damnit!"

Then Fraden pushed me down onto my back, effectively knocking me out of breath. I gasped and his lips found mine.

My eyes were wide and the purple dimmed as suddenly the world around me seemed to calm down. All I could think about or focus on was his lips on mine.

My first kiss. He took my first kiss.

They were soft and gentle against mine and slowly as I lay limp beneath him he began to move them, timidly, my eyes open the entire time. I moved against them as suddenly it dawned on me that I liked this. I grabbed his bicep, squeezing his muscle and then he pulled away and we just sat there staring into each others eyes, absolutely stunned.

"You just..."

"Yeah."