Demon of my Soulmate

Four: Sirius's Journey

I Won't Give up by Jason Mraz

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-Sirius-

I open my eyes, feeling a bit sick to my stomach as I slowly sit up from where I'm laying. What the hell happened? I thought as I'm feeling warmth against my skin. I look around me and my eyes widen as I see smoke and flames in the air. My chest tightens as I realize I'm in the middle of a village fire. I stand up quickly as people run by me in a panic, and I notice some people are on the ground dead. Burnt. My chest tightens more, when I heard a familiar scream in the distance. I spun on my heel as I run as fast as I can towards the sound. I try to avoid the other panicking people as best as I can, but it doesn't even matter. They seem to go through me, like I'm some kind of spirit or apparition. My head starts pounding as I get closer, and just like in slow motion I stop in my tracks. My eyes widen in pure shock, and what I saw in front of me stuns me to my spot. I-Its me? I thought in shock. I watch as myself is just staring at Cordelia as they lay on the ground. Cordelia is pinned by my younger self, and they are just staring at each other. The flames seem to freeze and I look around as I didn't understand what's happening. I try to move closer, to see Cordelia's face again but I couldn't move. I tried, and I tried but it wouldn't work. I became frustrated, and I felt my heart breaking again as I watch the scene slowly disappear.

"No!" I yell.

I cover my eyes as a bright light shines which forces me to look away, and once it dims I look back. My eyes widen when I'm at a different scene of my past. There in front of me, was my younger self whose standing in front of Cordelia. She's pinned against the tree by her shoulders, with her feet dangling from the ground. I watch ourselves as we just stared at each other, mesmerized by each other. I try to walk closer, but once again I couldn't move. I stare down at my feet before looking up at myself and Cordelia again. Why is this happening? Why am I seeing all of this? I thought upset. Did I do something wrong that I'm being punished? I suddenly felt tears sliding down my cheeks, but I roughly wipe it away. I will not cry. I will not cry. I glare up at my younger self with hatred. It's his fault, it's all his fault.

"Why are you such an asshole! Why couldn't you have just cared? Why couldn't you just be nice! Was that so fucking hard! Why-why did you have to send her away?" I ask brittle.

The scene, changed. I stood there staring at nothing, until another scene pops up. This time though, it had noise. It made my heart break all over again, and I didn't even want to look up but I knew I had too. I slowly look up with tears filling up in my eyes again, and I felt numb all over again.

"We aren't betraying him." Young Sirius tells Vetis annoyed.

"Sirius?" Cordelia asks not knowing what else to say.

"I'm sorry Cordelia, but as much as I want to understand I can't. I hate my father but he's still my father, and you tried to help kill him. That's treason on your part. I'll give you two options. Leave and never come back, or you will be locked up until my father comes back. He will then decide what to do with you." Young Sirius tells Cordelia almost regrettably.

I widen my eyes and couldn't believe how stupid I was back then. No you idiot! Don't do this to her! Don't send her away! I thought frustrated. I reached my hand out to touch Cordelia in a comforting way, but pull back remembering she won't even feel it. Cordelia doesn't deserve this, why was I such a prick? I should've been there for her, should've known better then to send her away like that.

"I'll leave then. I won't come back." Cordelia tells my younger self with disappointment.

"No! This is ridiculous, she was only trying to save her life." Jessamyn tries to reassure everyone.