Demon of my Soulmate

Seventeen: Lost Control

Lost Control by Alan Walker & Sorana

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-Lebara-

I slowly sink to the bottom of the pond and I know what I've done is wrong, but I can't do anything about it. I'm not even in control of my own body anymore. I don't know what Grim did to me to make me lose control but it's making me hurt my friends. I'm aware on what I'm doing but I can't stop myself. I'm glad that Sirius woke up and stopped me, but sadden when he just left me to sink to the bottom of the pond. Sirens have good lungs, so we can stay under water for a long while. The difference with me though is that I never learned to swim. I hated that I'm a siren, so I refused to learn how to swim. My good lungs can only last for so long, it won't let me live underwater forever. I will eventually drown and maybe that's the best way for me to go. I did just try to hurt my friends, and this could be my punishment. I just wished I made the right choices. I know I managed to help Sirius figure out if Cordelia is in Purgatory or not, but I also screwed him too. Now he lost his memory, thanks to me. I deserve this.

"Shut up!"

I snap out of my thoughts as I hear someone shout at me, and I look around to see no one in this pond but fish. I look towards the surface but didn't see anyone above me either. Who said that? I wonder. It couldn't have been my imagination could it? I can't be going insane from oxygen loss, it's to soon for a siren.

"It wasn't your imagination you idiot!"

"Who are you?"

"I'm you! More specifically your siren."

"I have a siren?"

"All sirens have a siren stupid."

"Then how come I never heard you before?"

"It's because you shut me out because you didn't like who you are."

"I don't. I still don't to be perfectly honest."

"You should Lebara. It's who you are, and you can have guys fawning over you!"

"No. They aren't fawning over me, they are fawning over my enchanting song."

"You complain to much! You can't just accept you for who you are! Sirius accepts for who he is!"

"He's a Demon Prince! He has no reason to not too!"

"Your a siren who has a magical gift. You have no reason either."

I couldn't argue with my siren that it is a magical ability, but it's a deadly weapon towards guys. Most of my friends are guys and I don't want to hurt them. I don't think my siren really gets that. I think she's the one whose in control now, and maybe I should see if she can let me be in control again.

"Hahahaha! I'm not letting you be in control again!"

"How did you-"

"I'm you Lebara! I know what your thinking!"

Damn. This really sucks. I have to be careful with what I think around her, but the real question is what do I do in the mean time? We both can't swim, since she's me she can't swim either. Which means we are both trapped down here until our lungs run out of air. Which shouldn't be to long now. Maybe I'll see Vetis again. I think missing her. I wonder how she's doing in the afterlife, and if she's watching over me right now.

"She can't watch over you stupid. She's dust."

"Why did you have to ruin the moment?"