Love, Loss, and Life

What's the Point?

by Stephen Nguyen and Nicole Banh

When she was shot,
she was shot through her armor-
the armor that had protected
a heart that had once loved
the one that would take a bullet for her-
the one who ended up being behind the gun.

She'd been through so much with that person.
That person had once been her bestie,
but that bestie
had left her heartbroken
way too many times to even count.

When she cried,
everyone asked her what's wrong-
but not him.
He ended up hurting her
without any effort of a heartbreaker.

She spent the year infatuated by him.
I guess you could say he stole her heart.
She thought he would be her best friend,
but she then realized,
after many blows to her fragile heart,
that a best friend is supposed to heal you,
not hurt you.

Every time she was left there,
wondering if he cared about her
as she cared about him,
she asked herself,
"What's the point?
What's the point of loving someone
who doesn't even love you back?"

Writing quotes about how
he had left her disappointed,
she once said to him,
"I'm mad at myself, not you.
I'm mad for always being nice,
getting attached,
making you my life,
depending on you,
wasting my time on you,
thinking about you,
forgiving you,
wishing for you,
dreaming about you
but most of all not hating you,
which I know I should but I can't."

Mad at herself for giving her heart to him,
she ended up fearing the realization
that sometimes the person you would take a bullet for
ends up being behind the gun.

When she finally gave up
on ever trying to get him to her,
her heart ended up being split
by the bullet her ex-bestie
had laid upon her.

"Bestest friend" has 13 letters,
so does "heartbreakers."
There was a point in time
where he really was her bestest friend,
but he was also a heartbreaker
at the same time.

When he pulled the trigger
without even meaning to,
she was heartbroken once again-
both inside and out.

When she fell after letting him go,
she made another realization:
We never lose friends...
we just simply learn
who the real ones are.

She let go
of who was supposed to be her bestie-
who was supposed to be her everything.
She let herself be surrounded
by friends who really knew her;
by friends who cared when something was wrong;
by friends who gave her a point
for opening up to them,
even if it was too hard.

She was very vulnerable when it came to him,
and that's what made her brave,
but she was also emotionally unstable.
Every time she tried
to let go of him,
she still couldn't help
but miss him even more.

The bullet hit her
like the worst betrayal ever.
She crashed into the ocean
made of her own, heartbroken tears.
Closing her eyes
while bathing in the depths
of her broken, bruised heart,
she asked herself again,
"What's the point?"

When she opened her eyes,
she found out what was the point-
the point was to not let the one person
you care about the most
get in the way
of your happiness.

She swam up and broke the surface
of the ocean made up of her own tears
and found her friends standing there-
friends who really cared.

While she found out
that sometimes
the person you would take a bullet for
ends up being behind the gun,
she also discovered that
we never lose friends...
we just simply learn who the real ones are.