Love, Loss, and Life

Ashes

So many mistakes.
So much pain.
I can't cope with it
unless I take a break.

I light a fire
so that it can burn with the night.
I'll let myself be lit
as I bathe in the fiery flames.

My expectations were of hellish demons,
but the reality is only peace and calm.
The flames brush against my skin.
Any minute now I'll be the fire's kin.

I'm a phoenix that shall rise from its ashes
after fighting many battles within myself.
Even as I tumble through the crashes,
I'll also remember the bliss of my past.

I die in my ashes,
buried in my many mistakes-
buried in what used to be
so much pain.
I once felt like I couldn't cope with it
but now, in my ashes,
I'm a phoenix reborn.

I fly like the wind,
fire blazing my trail.
My mistakes don't influence me.
My pain doesn't block me from the right.
My death in the flames
has made me more alive than ever.

But I still have unfinished business.
I have demons that need to be reconciled,
so I fly down to him
and make my amends.

When I arrive, you see the new me,
but you still say
that your sorry.
I want to pray
that you're saying the truth,
even when I used to feel
that you never cared.

Instead of holding on to my grudge-
instead of letting you rot
in your unfounded guilt,
I say, "Ocean man,
take me by the hand,
so that I can lead you to the land
that you understand."

Instead of not understanding-
instead of not caring,
you take me by the hand
and fly with me to the flames of the sun.

I once was the person
who looked back at my mistakes,
reflected on my pain,
and cringed,
but they are only ashes
'cause now I'm a phoenix reborn.
I'm someone who's rediscovered my best friend-
I'm someone who has finally found his best self.

I lost myself as I burned,
but when I rose out of my ashes,
I never felt better.