Dear Ashton,
Calum texted saying that he's gonna come over again.
I guess today isn't the day. have to wait a little longer.
〰
Calum is sleeping over.
as much as I love him, I just need to be alone. but he doesn't trust me being alone, scared of what I've do to myself...
He's in the living room, watching a random movie about Aliens and cowboys.
...
we had a talk earlier...
Calum asked if therapy was helping at all. and I said 'its going fine' ..I lied, its been hell. I can't even think of why I hate therapy and Kayla.
later he asked if I was happy, of course I lied again. I didn't like lying to my...I don't even know if I should call him 'best friend' anymore. I just don't know.
He asked if everything was alright.
oh yeah, everything is just peachy... all rainbows and unicorns in Luke Land.
to be honest, I dont care anymore. I just want to leave.
I'm sorry Ashton, I just feel like I don't have a reason to live anymore.
...
anyways, long story short.. Calum promised me that I'll over come whatever I'm going through.... that's the problem
Calum doesn't know what I'm feeling..he doesn't know of how it feels like. how can you just forget about it and move on just like that? ... I can't do that.
I can't.
no matter how hard I try... I can't forget about the love of my life and my beloved mother.
its tearing me down.
making me go insane.....
hell, I even killed a little boy for gods sake! how can I forgive myself after that?! ... I'm a monster.
a monster that needs to put asleep forever.
...
I'm sorry ash... for this.
I just feel really tired and in need of sleep. hopefully I'll be in a better mood tomorrow.
goodnight Ashton, I love you.
-luke
-
holy shit.. how do I even have 9.9k reads? wtf guys! I'm happy!
I'm sorry for not updating for so long! my internet is shit and won't be working until a week or so. :(
I've been getting a lot of messages from you guys and it really makes my day! thank you guys for reading! I love you!
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99 days without you >> lashton AU
Fanfiction❝Ash, Im confused, I thought we were happy. I thought we were doing okay. I thought we went through that…but I was wrong. I was so wrong.❞ Where Luke hemmings writes to his dead boyfriend, hoping he'd write back. All rights reserved || © YayerNayer...
