99 days without you >> lashton AU

Day 97

Dear Ashton,

I hate you..

but I love you..

you're making me go crazy

but you somehow make me happy.

I miss you like crazy...

-

I'm not gonna bother saying anything to Mikey and Cal. I doubt that they will notice anyways, they have other things to do...

ignoring me is one of them.

but its okay.

I can die alone and no one will stop me.

...

this morning..I checked twitter (yes I still have my phone, I don't know why Calum or michael hasn't texted me yet) and I feel so bad that i'll be leaving my favorite people or 'fans'- i prefer calling them my friends- behind.

I don't want them to be sad.

its just me.

there's nothing to be sad about.

..

anyways I read the tweets and stalked their twitters for a couple of hours. turns out they are still pretty sad about your death, ash.

they still tweet you...to come back.

they still tweet you nice things such as "hope you have a lovely day" ...and it broke my heart.

they are hurting like me.

And I...I don't want them to be sad...not anymore.

I just want my girls to be happy.

..

even though I hate that Cal and mikey hasn't talked to me in a while..I hope they have a good life.

...

My eyes are hurting.

-luke

-

*cries at 2am bc luke*

I think I'm gonna finish this tonight so I can start working on my other fanfics :) ..

okok tysm for reading.