Isolation

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty

Matthew looked up hearing a knock at the door. He had been lost in thought. The thinking had taken him back. He ran through the memories so many times trying to figure out if there was something he could have done.

The Canadian shook the thoughts from his mind and got up from the kitchen table. He grabbed his now cold mug of coffee and gun. He left the untouched coffee on the counter and put the pistol in the drawer under some papers along the way to the door. The blond opened the door to see a very cold looking Prussian. He didn't even have a coat, just a blue three piece suit.

"Hey Gil." He greeted quietly letting the albino in. Gilbert looked him up and down noticing how exhausted he looked. He immediately pulled him into a hug. Matthew hugged back clinging to his suit jacket.

"It's okay Birdie." He said rubbing soothing circles into the small of the blond's back. His usually loud and confident demeanour was replaced with a very concerned one. "I'm here."

Matthew finally broke down. He cried into the albino's shoulder. The sadness and loss suddenly overwhelming him. Gilbert carefully picked up him and carried him to the couch. He gently sat him down and set next to him. The Prussian pulled him close and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

"It's okay Birdie." He repeated slowly still rubbing big circles into his back. He brushed some hair out of Matthew's face looking at him. The Canadian wouldn't meet his eyes, he kept them downcast. He looked so tired, dark circles under his eyes told the Prussian he hadn't slept. He could tell that Matthew wasn't dealing with the loss well.

"Sorry." The Canadian said through his sobs. He wiped his tears away with his sleeve.

Gilbert gave him a sad smile taking his hand in his. "Jou don't need to apologize." He squeezed his hand lightly and Matthew rested his head on his shoulder. His breaths were still shaky and uneven, but they were starting to return to normal as he calmed down. The pair sat quietly for a while on the couch. The Prussian whispered calming words and held him close. Matthew hated showing such weakness, even to Gilbert, but he was happy he was there. He had finally calmed under the albino's touch.

"Have jou eaten anything Birdie?" Gilbert asked and he shook his head. "Are jou hungry?" The Canadian shook his head again. "Vhat about sleep? Have jou got any?" He asked knowing that the blond hadn't slept.

"Not much." Matthew sighed trying to keep in a yawn. He already looked half asleep. Gilbert stood up and picked him up again. He let himself be carried to bed. The albino set him down and he whined quietly at the loss of contact.

"Can I borrow some clothes?" The Prussian asked and he nodded. He didn't have anything with him other than his suit. He opened the dresser and pulled out an old college hoodie and sweatpants. Matthew's eyebrows furrowed seeing the sweater, but didn't say anything. Gilbert slipped into bed with him. He wrapped his arms around the blond's waist and pulled him close. "Vhat happened Matthew?" He asked quietly.

"It was so quick." He muttered going over the lie in his head. He couldn't tell Gilbert what really happened. "We went out for supper, on the way back we took back alleys." Matthew started. He took a breath. "A guy jumped us. He wanted cash, but we didn't have any." Gilbert held him tight and gave him a kiss on the forehead seeing tears starting again. "The guy pulled a gun and Bryce stepped in front of me." The Canadian was crying again. The actual memories flooding his mind. "He shot him." He shook his head. "I couldn't do anything. I was so scared Gil."

"I'm so sorry Birdie." The albino said hugging him tightly to his chest. Matthew buried his head in the crook of Gilbert's neck.

"I don't want to loose you too." The Canadian cried quietly eyebrows furrowed. He was starting to fall asleep, exhaustion finally taking over.

"Jou von't, I promise." Gilbert said noticing how drowsy the blond was. He realized how cold it was in the room. He'd been completely focused on Matthew and hadn't noticed. He reached behind him and pulled the blankets overtop of them wrapping them up together.

"No, you don't understand Gil." Matthew mumbled eyes starting to close. "You'll age, I won't..." He trailed off.

"Vhat?" Gilbert asked confused wondering if he heard that correctly. There wasn't an answer from the Canadian, he had fallen asleep. He sighed trying to figure out what he was trying to say. The albino had no idea what Matthew had meant and chalked it up to tiredness. He decided to ask him about it in the morning.

-❄️"I have a thousand things to say to you, and a thousand reasons not to."❄️-

Matthew opened his eyes to sunlight shining through the window. He rolled over to find the Prussian, but he wasn't there. He frowned until he smelt food. His stomach growled telling him he should get up, but he didn't want to leave the warmth of the bed. He heard footsteps coming his way.

"Guten Morgen Vogel." Gilbert smiled stepping into the room. He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. "Thought I heard jou moving."

"Morning." He said groggily. The blond scooted over and wrapped his arms around the albino's waist. Gilbert brushed some hair out of his face smiling down at him.

"I made some breakfast, it's not jour pancakes, but it'll do." The Prussian said moving the covers off him. "Jou hungry?"

"Yeah." Matthew said sitting up and stretching. He winced as a shot of pain went through him. Neither one of the wounds were fully healed yet. The Canadian swung his legs over the edge of the bed sitting next to Gilbert. He felt a lot more stable now that he had a good night's rest.

The Prussian leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek taking his hands and pulling him up. He kept one of the blond's hands in his and lead him out to the kitchen. He gestured for Matthew to sit as he grabbed the food off the counter.

"Thanks, Gil. It looks good." The Canadian said as it was sat in front of him. His stomach growled loudly.

"My cooking is awesome." The albino said with a smirk sitting across from him. Gilbert talked a little bit about the meetings he was in to fill the silence. Matthew didn't mind the rambling, he listened to keep his mind focused on something else. Once they were done eating, the couple washed the dishes together before going to watch tv.

The pair cuddled up on the couch under a blanket. Matthew was content with Gilbert's arms around his waist and chin resting on his head. He felt safe in his arms.

"Liebling?" The albino asked.

The Canadian shifted slightly. "Hmm?"

"Can I ask jou a question?" Gilbert asked.

AN: I don't know if I'm writing the whole loss thing well. I personally don't think I mourn much. I seem to just not idk